Band drama: part 1

[Lampens]

**** that noise. Go on a rampage at practice. Be sure to bring a tele.

 

[hecube]

**** that noise. Go on a rampage at practice. Be sure to bring a tele.

Ice picking your way out...

I like it

 

[st.bede]

I think that an obvious step has been forgotten by everyone, including OP:

talk to the band and let your feelings be known.

Perhaps you'll be fired but that will remove you from a sticky situation. If that happens, get the firing in writing. That should be enough to get out of the contractual obligation.

Well, even I missed that one.

I would speculate that there are so many underlying issues and those would make that a difficult path.

The danger would be in triggering emotional responses that make an honest discussion impossible. If that happens, things could be said that burn bridges and people could end up labeled.

If the OP is able to really listen to everyone, while holding onto his own emotions without responding in a negative way, it could possibly be good.

I would suggest that the OP reflect back what is said, "I hear you saying x, am I right in hearing x". Really listen to what is said and make sure you respect the other persons emotions even when you disagree.

I would not do this in hopes of saving a place in the band. That (on the face of it) looks like it is over. (Another tear in the bucket, mother f'ck it). The hope would be to come out with deeper positive relationships. This could become useful in the long run.

I can not ascertain if that hope is misplaced or possible. How much of it being possible would lead to my decisions on what course would be best.

Sometimes a happy good bye is the best you can do, sometimes lying and blowing up the other persons ego is the best that can be done, sometimes there is a chance for a respectful parting of the ways.

No matter what this is not about feelings (although feelings are always present) but about business. Peace

 

[Vortex]

Do the show w/ the plan on leaving. In the meantime start putting together another band w/ the singer or whoever. Assuming you have the time.

At this point I play w/ bands for fun. If we get a few gigs, great. If not that's ok too. But the second I'm aggravated (band drama) I leave. Don't need the grief doing something I enjoy. But then again I would probably enjoy screwing w/ the band at practice.

 

[Joeydego]

undecided ? You're kidding, right? What more do you need? Tell you what I'll do for ya. Fly here to NYC. Dont stay. Just get off the plane. I will meet you at the airport and PHYSICALLY kick you in the balls. Maybe then you'll get the hint? Dude, pack your shit and go. I was done by "red flag #2".

 

[Eball92]

I think that an obvious step has been forgotten by everyone, including OP:

talk to the band and let your feelings be known.

Perhaps you'll be fired but that will remove you from a sticky situation. If that happens, get the firing in writing. That should be enough to get out of the contractual obligation.

I get what youre saying with this, but the fact that the father told him he could be easily replaced tells me that he doesn't care about how his rhythm guitarist feels

 

[GitFiddle]

Please, please make sure someone tapes this gig. And post it here say, late afternoon, on a Friday.

 

[CHUNKYNECK]

Maybe my first recommendation wasn't smart as far as long term karma goes. Playing that last gig is probably a good idea. No harm in out soloing the young guy in one song though. Who's going to complain if you burn the lead guitarist on one song?
I'd love to see a video of that. Bonus points if you use the seagal tickle technique as a nod to the forum.

 

[Laggspike]

Maybe my first recommendation wasn't smart as far as long term karma goes. Playing that last gig is probably a good idea. No harm in out soloing the young guy in one song though. Who's going to complain if you burn the lead guitarist on one song?
I'd love to see a video of that. Bonus points if you use the seagal tickle technique as a nod to the forum.

im gonna play out this friday, with some dudes that has no idea what that tickle technique is

im gonna have some fun for sure

 

[Engel]

I think that an obvious step has been forgotten by everyone, including OP:

talk to the band and let your feelings be known.

Perhaps you'll be fired but that will remove you from a sticky situation. If that happens, get the firing in writing. That should be enough to get out of the contractual obligation.

Already done. I talked to all members at our last practice. From the OP:

The drummer asked me how I felt about the new singer?
I told him two things:

This decision was made very fast
The decision was not made as a band

This was said in front of the whole band. Tensions got pretty high after I said that but I'm wasn't going to hold that one in.

 

[Engel]

undecided ? You're kidding, right? What more do you need? Tell you what I'll do for ya. Fly here to NYC. Dont stay. Just get off the plane. I will meet you at the airport and PHYSICALLY kick you in the balls. Maybe then you'll get the hint? Dude, pack your shit and go. I was done by "red flag #2".

I feel you bro. I really have nothing to lose by staying or leaving at this point. I'm just going to ride it out until September and then have a reassessment.

 

[BuzzHaze]

Do the shows you need to do in order to maintain your reputation, then form your own band. It's hard to fire the guy who started the band...haha...not impossible, but hard.

 

[Eball92]

Do the shows you need to do in order to maintain your reputation, then form your own band. It's hard to fire the guy who started the band...haha...not impossible, but hard.

Stone Temple Pilots anyone?

and its still like a nasty breakup

trying to take over a band just isnt worth it, better to just take whoever you can and start from scratch than to have ot end up in court over something stupid years later

 

[st.bede]

Already done. I talked to all members at our last practice. From the OP:



This was said in front of the whole band. Tensions got pretty high after I said that but I'm wasn't going to hold that one in.

I feel you bro. I really have nothing to lose by staying or leaving at this point. I'm just going to ride it out until September and then have a reassessment.

If it was me, I would be making new contacts. If that was all you said and the tension were high... well, that seems like things are pretty over. Of course I have been wrong many times in my life and I am not there. Play nice. You will find another gig. Just have to go out and do the foot work. Meet people, promote yourself, take chances, and treat other and yourself with respect.

 

[TeaForTwo]

I hope you get it sorted out Engel.

I fall into the "No Drama" camp. Whether it's a band, recording gig, jam,
or a fill in gig. At the first sign of drama I walk away, literally. No exceptions.
.

 

[Shawn Lutz]

play the gig, be a as professional as, over play if given the opportunity and showcase your talent Think of it as an audition for you next chapter Hell in between songs say this is your last gig with this band and your available LOL

 

[Drew71]

Please have someone record this final show with this band. And, I think this is your last gig/show/stage appearance with this band. The drummer/dad said as much; "you are replaceable". So to me, he is just riding out this until September.

It is what it is and better for you in the long run.

No need to add any drama. Do your thing, professionally. Then make a gracious exit, in September.

 

[ehb]

1. Are the newby's going to play the show. They're not on the contract.

2. If he/they/it plays the show not on the contract, how well will they like not being paid?

Just a couple of thinking points. The agreement seemed to be 1k @ 200ea....

 

[rvschulz]

Do the shows you need to do in order to maintain your reputation, then form your own band. It's hard to fire the guy who started the band...haha...not impossible, but hard.

not trying to steal the OPs thunder, but this statement is so far from untrue ... as it happened to me. the end result is the guy who 'stole' the band is now lying in hospital bed from the heart attack he gave himself trying to be a big shot and I'm rid of 3 people who could hardly play their instruments but meant well.

such is life.

 

[Engel]

1. Are the newby's going to play the show. They're not on the contract.

2. If he/they/it plays the show not on the contract, how well will they like not being paid?

Just a couple of thinking points. The agreement seemed to be 1k @ 200ea....

This will be brought up tonight. Updates to come...

I know they're pushing for him to be in which will be a problem.