Band drama: part 1

Lampens

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 30, 2007
Messages
7,298
Reaction score
4,347
**** that noise. Go on a rampage at practice. Be sure to bring a tele.
 

st.bede

V.I.P. Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2008
Messages
10,387
Reaction score
5,429
I think that an obvious step has been forgotten by everyone, including OP:

talk to the band and let your feelings be known.

Perhaps you'll be fired but that will remove you from a sticky situation. If that happens, get the firing in writing. That should be enough to get out of the contractual obligation.

Well, even I missed that one.

I would speculate that there are so many underlying issues and those would make that a difficult path.

The danger would be in triggering emotional responses that make an honest discussion impossible. If that happens, things could be said that burn bridges and people could end up labeled.

If the OP is able to really listen to everyone, while holding onto his own emotions without responding in a negative way, it could possibly be good.

I would suggest that the OP reflect back what is said, "I hear you saying x, am I right in hearing x". Really listen to what is said and make sure you respect the other persons emotions even when you disagree.

I would not do this in hopes of saving a place in the band. That (on the face of it) looks like it is over. (Another tear in the bucket, mother f'ck it). The hope would be to come out with deeper positive relationships. This could become useful in the long run.

I can not ascertain if that hope is misplaced or possible. How much of it being possible would lead to my decisions on what course would be best.

Sometimes a happy good bye is the best you can do, sometimes lying and blowing up the other persons ego is the best that can be done, sometimes there is a chance for a respectful parting of the ways.

No matter what this is not about feelings (although feelings are always present) but about business. Peace
 

Vortex

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2013
Messages
1,134
Reaction score
1,448
Do the show w/ the plan on leaving. In the meantime start putting together another band w/ the singer or whoever. Assuming you have the time.

At this point I play w/ bands for fun. If we get a few gigs, great. If not that's ok too. But the second I'm aggravated (band drama) I leave. Don't need the grief doing something I enjoy. But then again I would probably enjoy screwing w/ the band at practice.
 

Joeydego

your mom is a nice lady
V.I.P. Member
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
24,137
Reaction score
39,031
undecided ? You're kidding, right? What more do you need? Tell you what I'll do for ya. Fly here to NYC. Dont stay. Just get off the plane. I will meet you at the airport and PHYSICALLY kick you in the balls. Maybe then you'll get the hint? Dude, pack your shit and go. I was done by "red flag #2".
 

Eball92

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2014
Messages
1,373
Reaction score
3,489
I think that an obvious step has been forgotten by everyone, including OP:

talk to the band and let your feelings be known.

Perhaps you'll be fired but that will remove you from a sticky situation. If that happens, get the firing in writing. That should be enough to get out of the contractual obligation.

I get what youre saying with this, but the fact that the father told him he could be easily replaced tells me that he doesn't care about how his rhythm guitarist feels
 

GitFiddle

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2010
Messages
11,162
Reaction score
14,160
Please, please make sure someone tapes this gig. And post it here say, late afternoon, on a Friday. :cool:
 

CHUNKYNECK

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2011
Messages
4,395
Reaction score
6,049
Maybe my first recommendation wasn't smart as far as long term karma goes. Playing that last gig is probably a good idea. No harm in out soloing the young guy in one song though. Who's going to complain if you burn the lead guitarist on one song?
I'd love to see a video of that. Bonus points if you use the seagal tickle technique as a nod to the forum.:cool:
 

Laggspike

Senior Member
Joined
Jul 2, 2013
Messages
7,577
Reaction score
10,529
Maybe my first recommendation wasn't smart as far as long term karma goes. Playing that last gig is probably a good idea. No harm in out soloing the young guy in one song though. Who's going to complain if you burn the lead guitarist on one song?
I'd love to see a video of that. Bonus points if you use the seagal tickle technique as a nod to the forum.:cool:

im gonna play out this friday, with some dudes that has no idea what that tickle technique is :D

im gonna have some fun for sure :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger::headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger:
 

Engel

Senior Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
7,878
Reaction score
9,766
I think that an obvious step has been forgotten by everyone, including OP:

talk to the band and let your feelings be known.

Perhaps you'll be fired but that will remove you from a sticky situation. If that happens, get the firing in writing. That should be enough to get out of the contractual obligation.

Already done. I talked to all members at our last practice. From the OP:

Engel said:
The drummer asked me how I felt about the new singer?
I told him two things:

This decision was made very fast
The decision was not made as a band

This was said in front of the whole band. Tensions got pretty high after I said that but I'm wasn't going to hold that one in.
 

Engel

Senior Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
7,878
Reaction score
9,766
undecided ? You're kidding, right? What more do you need? Tell you what I'll do for ya. Fly here to NYC. Dont stay. Just get off the plane. I will meet you at the airport and PHYSICALLY kick you in the balls. Maybe then you'll get the hint? Dude, pack your shit and go. I was done by "red flag #2".

I feel you bro. I really have nothing to lose by staying or leaving at this point. I'm just going to ride it out until September and then have a reassessment.
 

BuzzHaze

V.I.P. Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2011
Messages
7,115
Reaction score
16,451
Do the shows you need to do in order to maintain your reputation, then form your own band. It's hard to fire the guy who started the band...haha...not impossible, but hard.
 

Eball92

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2014
Messages
1,373
Reaction score
3,489
Do the shows you need to do in order to maintain your reputation, then form your own band. It's hard to fire the guy who started the band...haha...not impossible, but hard.

Stone Temple Pilots anyone?

and its still like a nasty breakup

trying to take over a band just isnt worth it, better to just take whoever you can and start from scratch than to have ot end up in court over something stupid years later
 

st.bede

V.I.P. Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2008
Messages
10,387
Reaction score
5,429
Already done. I talked to all members at our last practice. From the OP:



This was said in front of the whole band. Tensions got pretty high after I said that but I'm wasn't going to hold that one in.

I feel you bro. I really have nothing to lose by staying or leaving at this point. I'm just going to ride it out until September and then have a reassessment.

If it was me, I would be making new contacts. If that was all you said and the tension were high... well, that seems like things are pretty over. Of course I have been wrong many times in my life and I am not there. Play nice. You will find another gig. Just have to go out and do the foot work. Meet people, promote yourself, take chances, and treat other and yourself with respect. :thumb:
 

TeaForTwo

The Guitar Whisperer
Joined
Dec 2, 2010
Messages
7,066
Reaction score
14,594
I hope you get it sorted out Engel.

I fall into the "No Drama" camp. Whether it's a band, recording gig, jam,
or a fill in gig. At the first sign of drama I walk away, literally. No exceptions.
.
 

Shawn Lutz

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2012
Messages
5,154
Reaction score
4,980
play the gig, be a as professional as, over play if given the opportunity and showcase your talent ;) Think of it as an audition for you next chapter ;) Hell in between songs say this is your last gig with this band and your available LOL
 

Drew71

Senior Member
Joined
Jul 25, 2014
Messages
791
Reaction score
1,158
Please have someone record this final show with this band. And, I think this is your last gig/show/stage appearance with this band. The drummer/dad said as much; "you are replaceable". So to me, he is just riding out this until September.

It is what it is and better for you in the long run.

No need to add any drama. Do your thing, professionally. Then make a gracious exit, in September.
 

ehb

Chief Discombobulator
Gold Supporting Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2013
Messages
42,242
Reaction score
174,660
1. Are the newby's going to play the show. They're not on the contract.

2. If he/they/it plays the show not on the contract, how well will they like not being paid?

Just a couple of thinking points. The agreement seemed to be 1k @ 200ea....


:cool:
 

rvschulz

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2012
Messages
1,249
Reaction score
961
Do the shows you need to do in order to maintain your reputation, then form your own band. It's hard to fire the guy who started the band...haha...not impossible, but hard.

not trying to steal the OPs thunder, but this statement is so far from untrue ... as it happened to me. the end result is the guy who 'stole' the band is now lying in hospital bed from the heart attack he gave himself trying to be a big shot and I'm rid of 3 people who could hardly play their instruments but meant well.

such is life.
 

Engel

Senior Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
7,878
Reaction score
9,766
1. Are the newby's going to play the show. They're not on the contract.

2. If he/they/it plays the show not on the contract, how well will they like not being paid?

Just a couple of thinking points. The agreement seemed to be 1k @ 200ea....


:cool:

This will be brought up tonight. Updates to come...

I know they're pushing for him to be in which will be a problem.
 

Latest Threads



Top