Anyone over the age of 40 pop the question here?

[J-Dizzle]

one piece of advice I can give is to use a jeweler for a ring, DO NOT buy retail.

The markup is horrific. For example a $5k ring made by a jeweler will cost at least $10k in a shop.

A jeweler can customize everything for you. Its all parts and labor. Its almost no different from having a guitar built.

The main cost is in the diamond. But if you are smart you can choose the diamond carefully and get maximum bang for buck.

Diamonds are priced on size, colour, clarity and cut (the shape). If you go to a lower grade colour and clarity you can get a way bigger diamond. Also some shapes are cheaper than others so again if you choose wisely you can get something eye popping on a budget.

 

[Joeydego]

one piece of advice I can give is to use a jeweler for a ring, DO NOT buy retail.

The markup is horrific. For example a $5k ring made by a jeweler will cost at least $10k in a shop.

A jeweler can customize everything for you. Its all parts and labor. Its almost no different from having a guitar built.

The main cost is in the diamond. But if you are smart you can choose the diamond carefully and get maximum bang for buck.

Diamonds are priced on size, colour, clarity and cut (the shape). If you go to a lower grade colour and clarity you can get a way bigger diamond. Also some shapes are cheaper than others so again if you choose wisely you can get something eye popping on a budget.

I'm actually in the not going to buy the diamond camp, thus needing neither a jeweler or retail shop.

Here's how I see it. Roughly equal to the young adult who watches their parents work themselves into the grave to pay for 8 years of schooling. At what point do you say "hey mom and dad, I got this. Retire. Enjoy the rest of your lives and thanks for what you already gave".

Kinda the same. You claim to love me so much, but want me to forgo 3 months salary for some dumb tradition so you can save face in front of other women, tied to the exact same dumb tradition?

At what point does sanity and common sense happen?

At this point.

 

[Hanover Fist]

I have no interest in 2 or 3 months salary tied up in a diamond. What exactly do I get out of that?

It's already been mentioned, but it's a scam put on by the diamond business. Contrary to what they want you to believe, diamonds are NOT rare!

 

[Joeydego]

It's already been mentioned, but it's a scam put on by the diamond business. Contrary to what they want you to believe, diamonds are NOT rare!

Ding ding ding. We have a winner.

.

 

[Jakeislove]

so the monthly pension check and the medical insurance doesn't provide a sufficient enough reminder? My last name every time she writes a check doesn't make her go "oh hey look at that, I'm married". No, some damn rock some kid with a stump for a hand mined out of an ebola infested stream halfway around the world screams JOEYDEGO. Yup, makes perfect sense.

Buy the damn ring.

 

[Joeydego]

Buy the damn ring.

you know Im right

 

[Ed B]

Here's how I see it. Roughly equal to the young adult who watches their parents work themselves into the grave to pay for 8 years of schooling. At what point do you say "hey mom and dad, I got this. Retire. Enjoy the rest of your lives and thanks for what you already gave".

Kinda the same. You claim to love me so much, but want me to forgo 3 months salary for some dumb tradition so you can save face in front of other women, tied to the exact same dumb tradition?

At what point does sanity and common sense happen?

Those parents aren't selfish. I don't think I know a single parent who wouldn't die to give their kids opportunities that they had no shot at.

 

[Joeydego]

Those parents aren't selfish. I don't think I know a single parent who wouldn't die to give their kids opportunities that they had no shot at.

no, the parents arent, the kids are. How does this get lost in print?

 

[rockinlespaul]

You guys are right, I'll go buy that ring today!

Now your talking!

 

[Ed B]

no, the parents arent, the kids are. How does this get lost in print?

It's all about which point you're trying to exaggerate. You're obviously choosing the latter. Just like the nonsense about how much you HAVE to spend on a ring and what else you could get for that money.

 

[Joeydego]

It's all about which point you're trying to exaggerate. You're obviously choosing the latter. Just like the nonsense about how much you HAVE to spend on a ring and what else you could get for that money.

So somehow, you can love your parent and at the same time watch them delay their retirement and suffer at the same job they have hated their whole life to put a roof over your head to send you to four MORE years of school you can simply pay yourself? We had a guy getting NIGHTLY NOSE BLEEDS and looked like the walking dead sending his son to medical school. In England. I would have NEVER let my dad do that.

 

[Jakeislove]

you know Im right

Just the opposite, Joey.

Buy the ring.

At some point, you'll get it.

If you never get it, that's fine because the expense has already been dealt with while still drawing a paycheck.

Worse case scenario is realizing the ring issue was about the inability to perform a selfless act. You'll end up buying a ring when you're about to retire and paying even more out of guilt.

I'm not being a jerkoff but.... if you don't get it, this may not be the time to think about marriage.

 

[Ed B]

So somehow, you can love your parent and at the same time watch them delay their retirement and suffer at the same job they have hated their whole life to put a roof over your head to send you to four MORE years of school you can simply pay yourself? We had a guy getting NIGHTLY NOSE BLEEDS and looked like the walking dead sending his son to medical school. In England. I would have NEVER let my dad do that.

Oh yeah, that's normal.

 

[Joeydego]

Just the opposite, Joey.

Buy the ring.

At some point, you'll get it.

If you never get it, that's fine because the expense has already been dealt with while still drawing a paycheck.

Worse case scenario is realizing the ring issue was about the inability to perform a selfless act. You'll end up buying a ring when you're about to retire and paying even more out of guilt.

I'm not being a jerkoff but.... if you don't get it, this may not be the time to think about marriage.

Pay someone elses heating bill so they dont freeze in the winter? Done that. Thousands to help my kids mom move from one place to the next? Why not. I give away a LOT of money in the form of food, gifts and cash every year. Nothing to get out of it for me. Its always for good causes tho. For a rock? A rock. Not even a rare one, just a polished one. Give me 20k, I'll give you this rock simply because society is JUST THIS DUMB and expects it of you. Still going to pass.

 

[Mule Train]

Pay someone elses heating bill so they dont freeze in the winter? Done that. Thousands to help my kids mom move from one place to the next? Why not. I give away a LOT of money in the form of food, gifts and cash every year. Nothing to get out of it for me. Its always for good causes tho. For a rock? A rock. Not even a rare one, just a polished one. Give me 20k, I'll give you this rock simply because society is JUST THIS DUMB and expects it of you. Still going to pass.

I agree 100%, but you still need a ring. If you find a happy way out of this dilemma, let mankind know.

 

[Dilemma]

Joey, you're clueless. You couldn't find a clue if the clue tree took root in your back yard. You couldn't find a clue if your (ringless) GF left the cluepon book on top of your Friedman.
You couldn't,,,,,

Ah never mind.

 

[bluesaxe]

What do I get out of it?

Her happyness, the joy it brings to her, that's the whole point of it, not everything in life is about pleasing or doing things purely for your own benefit, part of being in a good healthy relaionship is putting the other person in the relationship before yourself more than occasionally, or in order to score points or favours in return.

In my opinion, this is transactional behavior and not healthy. It leads to enmeshment.

Doing things with an expectation of some sort of reciprocation just leads to all kinds of issues in the future. I learned my lesson on this one the hard way.

 

[Jakeislove]

Pay someone elses heating bill so they dont freeze in the winter? Done that. Thousands to help my kids mom move from one place to the next? Why not. I give away a LOT of money in the form of food, gifts and cash every year. Nothing to get out of it for me. Its always for good causes tho. For a rock? A rock. Not even a rare one, just a polished one. Give me 20k, I'll give you this rock simply because society is JUST THIS DUMB and expects it of you. Still going to pass.

I love you, Joey.

Not in a gay way.

 

[Pal]

Why would you open yourself up to this level of torture? My Wife would love to have a weapon like "never bought me a ring" in her arsenal.

 

[Jakeislove]

Why would you open yourself up to this level of torture? My Wife would love to have a weapon like "never bought me a ring" in her arsenal.

Why are you in a relationship where an arsenal is necessary?