Anyone over the age of 40 pop the question here?

[Joeydego]

Anything done non traditionally? Now that I'm a little older and (arguably) wiser, some traditions seem awfully silly and one sided to me in regards to ceremonially joining 2 lives into one.

1. I have no interest in 2 or 3 months salary tied up in a diamond. What exactly do I get out of that?

2. I have no interest in even a small wedding. I like the idea of a plane trip, sandy beach and a minister or something.

Anyone else do things non traditionally? Anyone want to beat me up for my views on this? Anyone want to try and justify these traditions in 2015? I'd like to hear concurring as well as opposing viewpoints on the matter, and how you may or may not have taken a similar path. I have explicit interest in hearing from the over 40 crowd but all are welcome.







Even the jerkoff comments below are welcome.

 

[elephantrider]

i was married on a jamaican beach barefoot, with a $2k donna karen suit on.
my personal opinion is do what you and your partner feel is right, for YOU.

it' really as simple as that.

 

[LtDave32]

I think by age forty, most men have passed the impetuous stage and have come to their senses. I'm never uttering those words again, I can tell you that.

 

[Joeydego]

i was married on a jamaican beach barefoot, with a $2k donna karen suit on.
my personal opinion is do what you and your partner feel is right, for YOU.

it' really as simple as that.

I did this, sandals Negril. It was awesome. What about an engagement ring?

 

[Joeydego]

I think by age forty, most men have passed the impetuous stage and have come to their senses. I'm never uttering those words again, I can tell you that.

So do you feel the expectation of engagement and/or marriage is a very lopsided social event?

Engagement=
Mans part-2-3 months salary, setting up the perfect romantic scenario and popping the question
womans part- saying yes or no

Call me cynical but that comes off awfully lopsided to me.

 

[dave b]

Non traditional? Yup. When I was 32, my ex ASKED ME to marry her I hadn't given it a moments thought. I had been quite content living common-law for eight years. Wedding? No churches for this atheist. Next to the swimming pool at my parents place in Florida. The traditional stuff came later. Lying, cheating, the divorce, not finding out the truth for two years after that Ahhh, life

 

[DavGrape]

The kind of woman I like would agree with points 1 and 2, anyway.

 

[Joeydego]

I'd be pretty pissed at my sig other if she tied up 3 months salary in a gift for me with zero functionality. You have any idea the kind of DRONE we could have bought with that money? I'm trying to rain an 8" dog on the neighbors over here, and you bought me a RING? Really?

 

[Tone deaf]

Joey, I have a guy in NYC who makes some pretty cool custom jewelry. I designed the engagement ring that I gave to my ex, he made it for me. I also had him make (at other times) earrings, an eternity band and some other stuff.

However, if you don't think a traditional ring is important to her, there are plenty of other nice things to do and purchase to show that you care... For the cost of a ring, you could do a pretty serious honeymoon. Nothing says "I love you" more than two weeks on Anguilla.

BTW, congrats.

 

[circles]

Is Virgin Galactic booking flights yet?

 

[Joeydego]

Joey, I have a guy in NYC who makes some pretty cool custom jewelry. I designed the engagement ring that I gave to my ex, he made it for me. I also had him make (at other times) earrings, an eternity band and some other stuff.

However, if you don't think a traditional ring is important to her, there are plenty of other nice things to do and purchase to show that you care... For the cost of a ring, you could do a pretty serious honeymoon. Nothing says "I love you" more than two weeks on Anguilla.

BTW, congrats.

Slow down I'm nowhere near that!
The discussion just came up.....what if.........thats kinda how it all starts. Anyway, MY idea which I thought was pretty cool and beyond fair: matching inscribed his and her Rolex watches. Come on, WHO wouldn't like a Rolex for god sakes? IM paying for both of them, probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 20k. Still, the ring comes up. Why no ring, no commitment bla bla bla.

I counter the argument with logic. I'm MARRYING you and making you my beneficiary on my pension, benefits etc. THATS not commitment?

 

[elephantrider]

I did this, sandals Negril. It was awesome. What about an engagement ring?

Yeah, i bought a small diamond ring. nothing spectacular AT ALL.
then we had our wedding rings as well.

The traditional stuff came later. Lying, cheating, the divorce, not finding out the truth for two years after that Ahhh, life

i was about 6yrs late on the truth.

 

[dave b]

What is a ring worth to a woman (other than its cash value)? We didn't have much money when we got married, and just had matching plain gold bands. Four years later, hers was lost, so I had one custom-made for her, with diamonds around it for each year we were married, and room to add them as time went by. She even cried when I gave it to her. Two months later she threw me under the bus, and to this day, still hasn't given me a coherent reason why. F**k wedding rings. ( Do I sound bitter?)

 

[Harmony]

Slow down I'm nowhere near that!
The discussion just came up.....what if.........thats kinda how it all starts. Anyway, MY idea which I thought was pretty cool and beyond fair: matching inscribed his and her Rolex watches. Come on, WHO wouldn't like a Rolex for god sakes? IM paying for both of them, probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 20k. Still, the ring comes up. Why no ring, no commitment bla bla bla.

I counter the argument with logic. I'm MARRYING you and making you my beneficiary on my pension, benefits etc. THATS not commitment?

Wow! You've changed your tune!

I thought that pension was your most treasured possession! Pre Nups and all!


Way to go Joey


20k Rolex watches? Omg. If that makes you both happy, why not.

Crazy if you ask me!

 

[Joeydego]

Wow! You've changed your tune!

I thought that pension was your most treasured possession! Pre Nups and all!


Way to go Joey


20k Rolex watches? Omg. If that makes you both happy, why not.

Crazy if you ask me!

The pension WITH the prenup!
But yea, the Rolexes are a good idea in lieu of a ring I think.

 

[hecube]

Anyone getting married over the age of 40 is bat**** crazy.

Edit: below 40 also for that matter.

 

[Harmony]

The pension WITH the prenup!
But yea, the Rolexes are a good idea in lieu of a ring I think.

Either you are bs'ing or you had a knock to your head

I can think of far better things to spend 20k on that will benefit both parties and their future together.

If I ever got married again, I wouldn't care if the ring cost a dollar
Okay maybe not a dollar but not expensive. It is crazy to spend so much on engagement imo, whether rings or watches.

Well whatever you decide, if and when you do pop that question, make it romantic!

 

[Joeydego]

Either you are bs'ing or you had a knock to your head

I can think of far better things to spend 20k on that will benefit both parties and their future together.

If I ever got married again, I wouldn't care if the ring cost a dollar
Okay maybe not a dollar but not expensive. It is crazy to spend so much on engagement imo, whether rings or watches.

Well whatever you decide, if and when you do pop that question, make it romantic!

What I like about the watches is we BOTH get something. I don't care about money. I have money and I'll make more money. My issue is the lopsided ritual of proposal. Its 2015. (or by this time who knows, maybe 2017 or 2018, 2020....). We both think its a good time to get married, so why not fly away, have a nice small ceremony on a weeks vacation on a beach, get a couple of bangin watches or something and call it a day? I dont like buying into the needing to die stereotypical norms. So much has changed in the world. no one is going to raise my kids, take care of my household etc etc etc at this point of my life. Im not interested in a 3rd dependent. I need an equal. Equal ain't me pouring 3 months salary into a ring. Thats traditional, not equal.

 

[sk8rat]

1. I have no interest in 2 or 3 months salary tied up in a diamond. What exactly do I get out of that?

well, imo its not a matter of what you get out of it. you can ask yourself the same thing about marriage. what do you get out of it? in reality there isn't much that you can't do unmarried that you can married.

2. I have no interest in even a small wedding. I like the idea of a plane trip, sandy beach and a minister or something.

weddings are for really the bride and family.

btw, whats with the whole getting on one knee thing to propose? to me it always seemed like the guy is basically saying "ok I submit, ill be your b*tch"

 

[tazzboy]

Anyone getting married over the age of 40 is bat**** crazy.

Edit: below 40 also for that matter.

More like getting married at all is BSC