52 things every father should teach his son

[Thumpalumpacus]

Parents should teach their sons and daughters how to do this!

Yeah, I should have written "children" -- but the fact the I'll be teaching my son exactly this in a few weeks crept into my point.

Also, to Sonar's point -- as annoying as my dad struck me when I was a boy, I've spent my life carrying myself as he taught me. "Walk, talk, smoke, and joke" was his phrase, so mysterious to me as a boy but easy to understand as a man: Carry yourself with dignity, be fair, firm, and funny. Don't start ****, and don't take ****. He was a Texan through and through, and I am goddamned lucky to have had such a man as a role model.

 

[Sharky]

never pee into the pool, especially not off the springboard

 

[filtersweep]

Telling anyone how to raise kids is similar to discussing religion or politics-- it really is both rolled into one. It is like telling someone what sort of values to choose.

My opinion- choose a woman who shares your values to raise kids with whatever they may be.


My personal observation, which is likely worthless, is that in the US system, athletics is based on grade, rather than age. Kids compete while their bodies are still developing. It isn't easy for a 15 year old competing with a 17 year old-- and that 17 year old is there because he was held back a few years along the way. Even in age-based sports, kids born toward the end of the year have a big disadvantage if the sport is remotely size/strength based.

The other issue-- the kids raised by, and to be, 'alpha males' (which really doesn't exist in humans), ended up working the autoparts stores, living less than a mile from where they grew up, were early divorced, and race in the beater class at the local race tracks. Education was for pussies. Other kids were raised to learn how to effectively navigate through the complexities of life to be successful. Do you really want to hire someone straight out of college who is decisive and knows everything? Life is a process. Being 18 or 21 does not make one an adult. Looking at the group I attended school with, many of the average kids have done the best overall. The smart ones had difficulty accepting that the world doesn't beat a path to their doors, and many were risk adverse when it came to life decisions, since they didn't want to risk failure (something they never had experienced).

 

[JCM900MkIII]

No. 12
Best contraceptive evar.

That tip kinda shows how dumb a list of advice like that is.



No. 15 Opportunity is everywhere (which is translated into " if a dumbass misplaces his sunglasses (or wallet), it's yours" for instance, or " If you crash into a car on a parking lot and no one sees it, get the hell out" etc.)
Just leaving this example here: https://www.facebook.com/MadisonConfessions/posts/513819821990560




No. 21 & 22 Never apologize or use excuses (means I do what I do, and **** you if you don't like the consequences)




The more I look at that list, the more I see things that I would not teach my kids.


No.9 Don't trust anyone




52 tips on how to be an asshole, basically (well, maybe there are a few tips in that list that are helpful in certain situations, but only after re-wording them)

 

[VerbalPuke]

Who here has a son anyway? Besides me that is.

If'n you don't the point is moot. And if'n your daddy never did....also moot.

The thing is merely musing. Or ranting. Depending on your point of view. I personally think about 50% of it is bull****.

I have two sons, 4 and 2 years old. Some of it is alright, but it's all kind of whatever to me. I just hope to raise two good dudes that work hard and earn their way through life.

 

[Otto tune]

Gas grills aren't the answer. Great way to get the state police to show up is to shoot a propane tank with a 30 - 30 Savage. A hole in the earth 4 feet deep and shlt landing long after the bang. All you tell the cop is you don't know and ask if he wants some ribs off a char coal grill? I don't not know any thing of the real events of that day, I sold that Savage to the cook.

Didn't Mythbusters try that? They couldn't get any propane tanks to explode. I think they had to resort to tracer rounds and c-4.

 

[defcrew]

Pretty butch list. I didn't read all these responses but I think kevinpaul needs to make a 52 point list.

 

[KSG_Standard]

Quiche is delicious.

Quiche is egg pie. Just think about that.

 

[Maynar]

Quiche is egg pie. Just think about that.

Mmm egg pie. With asparagus! And some wicked cheese.

 

[rxbandit]

Quiche is egg pie. Just think about that.

Thinking... Thinking...

Mmmm

 

[Nicky]

My father taught me: real men don't drink from straws, eat quiche, or ask directions.

Well, sh!t. I do all three!

I showed the OP's list to Daughter #1. She said "those are the kind of boys I destroy in the courtroom".

I showed the OP's list to Daughter #2. She said "those are the kind of boys whose bodies I process at crime scenes".

I showed the OP's list to my step-son. He said "you did a good job of raising me, even though you're a pu$$y who drinks from straws, eats quiche, and asks directions".

 

[JorNak]

I was raised by a single mom and i wasn't a pussie... I was the bully My father was never around and i know how to do all the things on Maly's list.

 

[Death Incarnate]

7) Discrimination is Good

Disregard the media baloney about discrimination being bad. Discrimination is how you survive and prosper. You see a girl in a bar dressed like a slut, you can be sure she is a slut. You see a group of blacks with their pants around their mid-thighs you can be sure you don’t want anything to do with them. You see a group of Mexicans gathered around the Home Depot you can be sure they are illegals.

Wow. Yeah, let's judge everyone by their appearance! "Discrimination" and common sense on evaluating one's chosen visual aesthetic are not the same thing. Most of my best friends dress like morons. If I didn't associate with people whose appearance I did not care for, I would not talk to any males over the age of 12 who wear shorts.

10) The Importance of Hard Work

The years of 15-21 will mark you for the rest of your life, it is imperative that you get in some hard work so you can develop the habit of not being a lazy slob. That can mean athletics, yard work, farm work, work in the family business, or school work.

Nonsense. If the way people act from 15-21 marks the rest of your life, society would crumble over night. Hard work and discipline are important, but I perish to think that comes from how people acted form 15 to 21. I would say 22-27 marks your course. Some people never leave college attitude wise.

12) Don’t Believe Her When She Says She’s on the Pill

A.P.O.E. (Always pull out early).

Always? ALWAYS? Even in a long term relationship? That doesn't sound like much fun. This should be changed to say, "Don't be an idiot and get someone pregnant."

31) A Higher Power

There is more to life than we know or will ever know. Never think that you know everything about everything. There is something more at work and we won’t know what it is until we die. Atheism is a form of nihilism. If there’s no God then we can just do whatever we want and not worry about consequences. Son, that’s good enough for them but your life has a purpose.

Ridiculous. I'm all for cosmic humility and understanding the universe is wider than our view of it. But ramifications and consequences do not rule one's morality. "If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then brother, that person is a piece of sh|t."

The rest of of the list seems like common sense, but whatever.

 

[Thumpalumpacus]

Well, sh!t. I do all three!

I showed the OP's list to Daughter #1. She said "those are the kind of boys I destroy in the courtroom".

I showed the OP's list to Daughter #2. She said "those are the kind of boys whose bodies I process at crime scenes".

I showed the OP's list to my step-son. He said "you did a good job of raising me, even though you're a pu$$y who drinks from straws, eats quiche, and asks directions".

"... and plays in the nude."

 

[Nicky]

"... and plays in the nude."

One needs to be comfortable...

 

[Thumpalumpacus]

Oh, that's something I forgot to address: pulling out is not reliable birth control, at all. Only an idiot would teach his son that misconception, if you'll pardon the pun.

 

[six-string]

it's an interesting thought.
but reality is roughly 50% of fathers are divorced.
so whatever that translates to...it means 1/2 of boys either have a part-time dad or no dad at all.

 

[rxbandit]

Oh, that's something I forgot to address: pulling out is not reliable birth control, at all. Only an idiot would teach his son that misconception, if you'll pardon the pun.

Seriously, what an idiot. Everyone knows if the girl is on top she can't get preggers.

 

[Dolebludger]

rx,

You are joking, right?

 

[Frampton129]

53: How to use a charcoal grill. While this is a part of cooking, it's so much more.

I wholeheartedly agree with this, but it needs to be much higher up the list than #53