"Free Hugs"

So, I'm in the grocery store and I see this woman wearing a tee shirt that says "Free Hugs" across the front. Of course, I'm wearing a "Patent Applied For" tee shirt. That part really doesn't add anything useful to the story but it gets me a free tee shirt plug.

Anyway, I'm walking down the aisle and she's walking up the aisle and I'm thinking "Maybe I should accept her invitation. She's not that hot. She's a bit chunky too but she does have the shirt."

I get about ten feet from her, and I stop and open my arms wide. She looks at me like "What?". So I say, "Your shirt. "Free hugs." She says "Oh, no thank you." And I'm standing there like an idiot with my arms wide open ready to hug a woman I'm not even into. And I say "But... your shirt. It said "Free hugs". And she says "Yeah, but it's just meant to be funny." And I say "But it's not funny. It's false advertising." And we just go our own way.

You know how when a confrontation is over and later on you think of a good comeback like "Well, the Jerk Store called and they're all out of YOU!" I kinda wish I had said "Well Madam, I suggest you only wear your "Free Blowjobs" tee shirt at home then."

That would have been a good one.

Woooo-doggie; that wouldn't have been a good one.
Hahaha!

EDIT 12 minutes later:
No, wait a minute; a haughty "Well, I guess no one's ever taken you up on it before." would have been a good one.

No; wait a minute.... "You mean people usually pay?"

Fucking Hug teasers!

Torren61 said:

"Yeah, but it's just meant to be funny."

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I woulda played dumb.
“Funny? I don’t get it…”

Then maybe act wounded.
“What’s funny about that?”

Woman is intellectually lazy, no doubt.

Dumb? Maybe.
I don’t give anyone undue credit.

So just for the record, I don’t wear any of my t-shirts without being prepared to engage anyone who comments on it.

After the closet purge a couple months ago (suggested by my wife) I still have well over 100 t-shirts that are intended to stimulate thought - or dialogue - on social issues, faith, government, and personal liberty.

Most people don’t respond overtly, and it’s almost always positive feedback I get from those who do.

But I’m always ready to engage the occasional stranger who feels triggered and provoked into challenging me.

Over a t-shirt.

And I gotta admit it -
I probably love it more than I should.

(My wife just steps away and shakes her head)

"Hey lady, with the flies buzzin' round you, that shirt should say...Free Bugs!"

Maybe "Hugs" is an incarcerated friend of hers.

Duane_the_tub said:

Maybe "Hugs" is an incarcerated friend of hers.

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Yea Huggy Bear, her 300lb baby’s father got thrown in jail for accosting the last guy who tried to hug her out of nowhere that time at the store.

I just tell people like that to fuck off and go fuck themselves, I hate people like that

I just give people like that one of these.

Damn, you guys are funnier than my comeback. Lol.

Leee said:

Woman is intellectually lazy, no doubt.

Dumb? Maybe.
I don’t give anyone undue credit.

So just for the record, I don’t wear any of my t-shirts without being prepared to engage anyone who comments on it.

After the closet purge a couple months ago (suggested by my wife) I still have well over 100 t-shirts that are intended to stimulate thought - or dialogue - on social issues, faith, government, and personal liberty.

Most people don’t respond overtly, and it’s almost always positive feedback I get from those who do.

But I’m always ready to engage the occasional stranger who feels triggered and provoked into challenging me.

Over a t-shirt.

And I gotta admit it -
I probably love it more than I should.

(My wife just steps away and shakes her head)

Click to expand...

I don't have nearly as many tees as you but most of them have words of wit on them. However, mine are intended to just be funny.

Do Not Arrest This Person .... (This one is a crowd favorite tee shirt. I've gotten a lot of laughs with it)
First I gotta see the Candy, THEN I get into the van. I'm not stupid.
Hi. I don't care. Thanks.
NOPE
If history repeats, I am SO getting a dinosaur
My worst decision is yet to come
Patent Applied For

You get the idea.

"Free? No lady, you'd have to pay me"

Knoby said:

"Free? No lady, you'd have to pay me"

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That's a REALLY good line but it's more of a "first strike" than a comeback, lol.

I bet you were vindicated when she got home. She probably told her husband "Some creep in the grocery store tried to hug me!" and he had your back.

I got a free hug from my boss recently. She imposed on me, i accepted.

Whole lotta woman, lol.

She was not wearing the T-shirt.

rogue3 said:

I got a free hug from my boss recently. She imposed on me, i accepted.

Whole lotta woman, lol.

She was not wearing the T-shirt.

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... or any other clothes. I guess I gotta call HR again.
... or any other clothes. But guess what, Honey? I got the promotion! Okay, gonna shower now.

Really; the original "False advertising" one is looking best.

Torren61 said:

... or any other clothes. I guess I gotta call HR again.
... or any other clothes. But guess what, Honey? I got the promotion! Okay, gonna shower now.

Click to expand...

SFW....where are the hearts in the smilies, haha.