And, you wonder....

LtDave32 said:

Are they amputees too?

Dear Penthouse..

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Clean up on Gary's desk.... I just spit out water on my desk.

SteveC said:

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That episode was on earlier this week. Best sitcom ever made.

TXOldRedRocker said:

That episode was on earlier this week. Best sitcom ever made.

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I love it, too. Evelyn and Jake are fucking mint!

But, I'mma Big Banger

SteveC said:

Can you see Lee's ad on Match.com?

SWM seeking a mature, or not so mature woman with a full bush for long, or not so long term relationship.

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Oh, God…
This could be a a thread all its own!

As you can imagine, I put a lot of time and effort into creating and polishing my online profile. It was long and detailed, with obscure references and wry humor.

Example:
“I like puppies, walks in the rain, and chocolate pudding while it’s still warm.”

@Roberteaux would have approved!

And I would get messages - “Do you really eat chocolate pudding when it’s warm? Yuck!”

My idea?
Answer a lot of questions upfront.
Questions they had no idea they might want to ask.
Weed out the tire-kickers, so to speak.
I don’t have much patience for stupid people in general, and even less for dumb women in particular.
If I piss them off before I waste any time on them? So much the better.

I probably still have a couple of drafts saved somewhere.

Leee said:

Oh, God…
This could be a a thread all its own!

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"Dear Penthouse"? Oh, yeah.. We've done that before.

It ain't Penthouse Forum without amputees. Long live Monopede mania..

I told my wife and kids, anybody that plants Monkey/Mondo border grass on my property will die....

When a teen, a bud's granny hired us to remove that shit around several oooooold circular flower beds on their property (old silk stocking avenue house with huge property)....

Good god. I asked his granddad if he owned a bulldozer... We bent up shovels trying to dig that shit up... Broke a handle or two also... we worked a couple of weeks.... Got paid and fed good every day but damn.... Damn flower beds had probably been there for over 50 years....

My dad hated Mimosa trees... Great Aunt and Uncle next door had those things... When G-Aunt passed and Uncle remarried and was moving, dad helped him clean up the property... Went over with his chainsaw and cut em down....

SteveC said:

There wasn't a single trimmed bush in the early 70's.

You had to whack your way through the brush to get to the little man in the boat.

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Nature’s dental floss.

Also easy to tell if a gal was a real blond.

It’s definitely a generational thing.

When I first started doing the online dating thing - 2003, I think it was - I noticed that even older women had started trimming up.
Like it was a trend, or something?
This was a new thing for me.

At some point, the conversation came up with a lady I had started dating.
Trimming fur.

I told her - I’m not going to tell you what to do, since personal hygiene is a personal thing.
It’s your business.
Your preference.
But you don’t have to do that for me.

“What??? I thought every man liked trimmed bushes!”

Um, no.
Who told you that?

“I dunno, but I thought every man liked neat manicured bushes!”

Well, I’m not every man.
I ain’t skeered.

“Are you serious?”

Absolutely. Let it grow.

“Well, buddy, don’t think I won’t! I hate dealing with that!”

Sounds like the best kind of compromise. We BOTH get what we want.

So it became kind of a running joke for the whole time we were dating.

We split up finally, and then sort of did the friends-with-benefits thing for a while.
She wasn’t seeing anyone else.
So she told me.

Until one night she came over to my place for entertainment, and everything was trimmed back up nice and neat again.

Hmmmmm….

Point being, I had this same bush conversation with several ladies over several years, and probably half of them were 100% relieved.
No pressure.

Glad I could help!

LtDave32 said:

I need a series of those stamps for MLP. A whole kit of them. With variable wording.

And a pad of red ink. And a pad of black ink. ..better make it two pads of red ink.

I need them. No, really I do.

Seriously.

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Edro has hoarded all of the red ink for his Crimmus list.

I bet you could post those old Demi Moore pics here and not get banned. I don't even think it counts as nudity. The hair is so thick and black you can't even see anything

edro said:

I told my wife and kids, anybody that plants Monkey/Mondo border grass on my property will die....

When a teen, a bud's granny hired us to remove that shit around several oooooold circular flower beds on their property (old silk stocking avenue house with huge property)....

Good god. I asked his granddad if he owned a bulldozer... We bent up shovels trying to dig that shit up... Broke a handle or two also... we worked a couple of weeks.... Got paid and fed good every day but damn.... Damn flower beds had probably been there for over 50 years....

My dad hated Mimosa trees... Great Aunt and Uncle next door had those things... When G-Aunt passed and Uncle remarried and was moving, dad helped him clean up the property... Went over with his chainsaw and cut em down....

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Ever want to really piss off a neighbor?
Plant just a little tiny bit of bamboo... not near your property.
They won't notice it until it's too late.

PeteK said:

I bet you could post those old Demi Moore pics here and not get banned. I don't even think it counts as nudity. The hair is so thick and black you can't even see anything

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LOL!
Yep... seen bikinis at the beach that covered less.

Gfunk_Minor said:

I absolutely LOVE doing Bonsai.
I have 23 of them right now.
I bought 5 new Japanese Maples early this spring so that I will have new stock to play with over the next few years. Nothing is more relaxing to me than to sit our on the patio with a whiskey on the rocks
and think about how I might trim my trees.

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Went to the National Arboretum in DC last weekend, on World Bonsai Day , May 10. Fantastic collection of Bonsai, some set in beautiful Japanese gardens. Saw some fantastic pieces.

CB91710 said:

Ever want to really piss off a neighbor?
Plant just a little tiny bit of bamboo... not near your property.
They won't notice it until it's too late.

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Kudzu if'n you really hate em...


A bud wanted a windbreak or something.... Boy did he get it.... No telling how many bush hogs he wore out beating the bamboo back.... He didn't know the runners can run tens of feet under the surface and pop up...

He got it beaten down with bush hog, spraying, etc... He left one clump but kept it contained...

Were I to buy some land and build, I'd like to have some bamboo in places but I'd get an excavator and dig trenches and pour the walls and ends to control spread... I think 3' deep would do it...with several inches above ground level... I'd talk to a bud with degrees from Auburn first though... Roots and runners don't go near that deep I don't believe... Be walls of bamboo in no time... Can't get out of the concrete trenches... Great windbreaks and privacy.... I'd love to have giant bamboo around the house for tall canopy shade (Fk Google's sats)... I don't think they spread runners like the normal bamboo.... If they do, I'd dig out for dropping big concrete culvert pipe sitting vertical... several feet from the house all around.... Plant a couple inside the concrete....

Bamboo can be beautiful if controlled... Nightmare in no time if not controlled....

CB91710 said:

Edro has hoarded all of the red ink for his Crimmus list.

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Damn right....

Be nice to sit out in the yard under a canopy of giant bamboo during dog days in the South..... Be a lot cooler.... Aircraft be wondering what was under all that green up high....

CB91710 said:

Edro has hoarded all of the red ink for his Crimmus list.

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edro said:

Damn right....

View attachment 850117

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Yep, mm-hmm..

Three whole blotter pads on me alone..

And that's one helluva chore, when you're no bigger than the damn stamp itself.

edro said:

Kudzu if'n you really hate em...


A bud wanted a windbreak or something.... Boy did he get it.... No telling how many bush hogs he wore out beating the bamboo back.... He didn't know the runners can run tens of feet under the surface and pop up...

He got it beaten down with bush hog, spraying, etc... He left one clump but kept it contained...

Were I to buy some land and build, I'd like to have some bamboo in places but I'd get an excavator and dig trenches and pour the walls and ends to control spread... I think 3' deep would do it...with several inches above ground level... I'd talk to a bud with degrees from Auburn first though... Roots and runners don't go near that deep I don't believe... Be walls of bamboo in no time... Can't get out of the concrete trenches... Great windbreaks and privacy.... I'd love to have giant bamboo around the house for tall canopy shade (Fk Google's sats)... I don't think they spread runners like the normal bamboo.... If they do, I'd dig out for dropping big concrete culvert pipe sitting vertical... several feet from the house all around.... Plant a couple inside the concrete....

Bamboo can be beautiful if controlled... Nightmare in no time if not controlled....



View attachment 850111

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Is this code about Asian girl grooming?