The answer: Two Bees! A King Bee and a Worker Bee. No one on the forum has posted about these so I googled and found that they have good specs and good reviews. Yes, they're strange, but I like quirky and stylish and my ears have been assaulted by driving a diesel van for a long time, so...yeah. Long & McQuade had already discounted them by 33%, but during the local store's inventory sale I offered them 50% off retail and they took it. $595 for the mics, $58 for two cables, but I bought the works for $358 plus the honorarium for the feds and the province. Neat is a Gibson brand, so I'm sure they're awful... but I don't give a shit. I didn't want SM57s and 58s and didn't want to be too spendy. While I'm here, I'll say that I alone am responsible for the mixer table. The big crate was sitting on the upside down smaller one but it was a waste of space, so I added the strangely shaped "legs". Now I have storage in both crates and the smaller one slides under the bigger one. The last pic is of the Neat Microphone Bee engineers that were included in the price. I need all the help I can get. If anyone reads this and cares, the board was posted about earlier. It's a Mackie MixFX12.