Sometimes you can be....

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by Mark V Guitars, Jan 1, 2018.

  1. Mark V Guitars

    Mark V Guitars バナナフライング... MLP Vendor

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    Sometimes you can be surrounded by 200 people and yet still feel lonely. Now before some of you resident MLP clowns start in with the hooker suggestions, many of us don't roll that way. I'm being kinda serious.

    I don't see any real way of fixing the scenario other than to control the thoughts within the mind. I mean, you can't just go out and buy close knit family and friends that would die for you. These things are built up over time. When a person goes through struggles in life, like in business, and on a personal level, you really start to see who is there for you, and who's not. It's quite the startling experience....especially the responses you receive when you ask for advice.

    Anyway, back to the inner recesses of my mind. Trying to find the damn light switch in there. It's a pretty dark place these days. I guess in retrospect, being a sarcastic person and coming off with dark humor is a way of coping. I saw that with Jim Carrey.

    Anyway, Happy New Year and brighter days perhaps.
     
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  2. TheX

    TheX Voice of Reason

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    And a VERY happy and prosperous new year to you.
     
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  3. cherrysunburst00

    cherrysunburst00 Senior Member

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    Advice is plentiful and cheap.

    Good advice, rare.

    I wish the best for you.
     
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  4. electric head

    electric head Just passing thru Premium Member

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    AbbB8aU.jpg

    Its all we can do.....
     
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  5. Howard2k

    Howard2k Premium Member

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    Sometimes life kicks you in the nuts. Really hard. Then when you’re down it comes and takes a shit right in your mouth. But hey, we’re all here to live another day, and since today is the start of a new year, what better time to kick off with some positivity.

    I picked up a new slide over the weekend. Well, two slides actually. I owned one and now own three. I really liked one of the two new ones, so sure that’s 1/3 but hey, I’m thrilled I found a slide I liked. Off to YouTube to find some beginner slide videos! Hope you guys are all having a good one too.
     
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  6. MooCheng

    MooCheng Senior Member

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    I think everyone of us has a dark place in the back of our minds, we devise elaborate ways to keep out of. Guess its part of the higher order of thinking we as human beings have to endure.

    one of the things I was often told as a child was "YA KIT MAHK GERN PY its good advice. simply means don't think too hard

    tomorrows a new day. Wishing you a Very Happy New Year Mark


    lol the forum software blocks the font thinking its profanity

    llll.png
     
  7. JonCanfield

    JonCanfield Platinum Supporter Premium Member

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    I have dark places too, even though I have a fantastic wife. MLP has been huge for me with connecting and socializing.
    When it comes to people being there for you, the only one I can really count on is Kathy.
    Hope you find your person or people
     
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  8. freebyrd 69

    freebyrd 69 Silver Supporter Premium Member

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    True statement OP. I think in life, we have all been through some dark periods. I know I did with all of my daughters diagnosis's.
    Even when you have caring friends and family, sometimes life deals you those blows where there isn't a goddamn thing anybody can actually do about it to make you feel better anyway.
    Play music, find an outlet. Hell, give me a call and we can bullshit about guitars and music. I'm serious. 810-923-8297. Call me!
     
  9. defcrew

    defcrew Senior Member

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    A couple of cliches to psychology but they are true. First, things don't happen to you. They just happen. And, second, when bad stuff happens you have to isolate it rather than let it tumble like a domino, i.e., something bad happened to me, something bad is always happening to me, something bad will always be happening to me, etc.

    Through it all, i think we are actually alone. I have a wonderful wife and family, relative wealth, health, etc. But when bad things go down or the dark times come there isn't a lot anyone but me can do about it and even that is relative. Sometimes you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed--maybe even for years--but seeing as perception is reality that is no small problem. But--to quote Don Draper--"the universe is indifferent." Some disagree. I could be wrong...about everything. Best of luck to you as far as whatever you are going through. It can always be worse. It can always be better.
     
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  10. NewDayHappy

    NewDayHappy Senior Member

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    Join the club, I rely on me. I have family, one of my sisters is going in a homeless shelter with her 5 year old autistic son. I think that very well could have been me 9 months ago but even while dealing with full blown Bipolar and alcoholism, I never missed one single bill, always planned my moves meticulously, always looked out for myself. The Lord helps those who help themselves, it's so cliche but it's the truth. There is maybe 2 people on this planet that would give me a couch to crash if I had to but I'll never need it, the role has reversed, people actually crash my couch because I'm a man and it's my job to be strong. Back to my sister, she expects everyone to take care of her, honestly she's at odds with every single person in the family, even the ones that let her stay with her, she's nuts. Are we alone in this world? Yes. My best bet is to be as independent and as strong as possible and people will gravitate towards you, but even so, people come and people go. Friends, family and everyone you know, at the end it will always be you, take good care of yourself and enjoy the ride.
     
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  11. Bobby Mahogany

    Bobby Mahogany Senior Member

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    You "are".
    Things happen, they will affect you somehow but remember that you were there before,
    and you'll be there after. If tough is what you have in front of you, fine.
    Go through it. It's what is there. Then it's gonna be something else.
    Resilience is sometimes no more than accepting what comes up and going through it.
    Like a roller-coaster ride it might be scary, it might be painful, but it's gonna be over eventually.
    You'll get off, notice you didn't like it one bit and then go do something else.

    Remember to take care of you so you're ready to do better things when they show up.
    My Best to you!
    :thumb:
     
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  12. KP11520

    KP11520 Senior Member

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    .
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2018
  13. Dilemma

    Dilemma Loud Pipes Ruin Naps Premium Member

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    I can say with relative certainty the hookers & blow suggestions are not to be taken seriously.

    Be that as it may, there seems to be a plethora of these types of posts here of late and the responses typically gather the same sort of advice. (99% of it is very good BTW) But I close many of these thread with the same thoughts; Life. Its a bitch. I don't mean to be glib, I'm just stating it as a fact. Life can be a mother*cker sometimes. We all go through dark times. Every single one of us. We all have doubts about who our friends are, what the future holds, who's got our back and who doesn't. Most of us worry about our jobs, relationships, health and a billion other things. Some of these worries are valid, but many of them are complete bullshit and not worth the time we spend dwelling on them.

    I'm not dismissing whatever it is that's got you in a dark place. But nobody is gonna flip that light switch for you. Only you can sort that out. When I get in a funk, I ride my motorcycle. During the winter months like right now? I'll go stand outside in -15 degree temperatures and chase Bald Eagles around. On the surface it sounds like the dumbest thing you could ever imagine doing with your afternoon. But it's not. It's my time, set aside for me. If nobody ever see's a single shot I've taken? I'm fine with that. The value is the accomplishment. I got off the couch, put on every single article of clothing I own, froze my fingers and toes to the point of numbness and subjected myself to severe frostbite. For what? A few photo's of some birds? How smart is that*?

    * Last weekend I came home from being out all afternoon and my pants were frozen solid from the knees down. My wife was fukin' PISSED when she heard I went though the ice on the river. <Shoulda kept that little mishap to myself I guess>

    Whatever is going on with you? It WILL get better. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but it will. I read this in a book called "Grit" by Angela Duckworth and it stuck with me; "Nana korobi ya oki" - fall down seven times and get up eight.
     
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  14. Tone deaf

    Tone deaf Senior Member

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    It can be difficult to find good people for high-level human interaction. It doesn't mean finding Einstein, it means finding someone who lines up with what works for you (personality, interests, preferred method of interaction and other behavioral stuff).

    I drove one of my girls to an out of state gymnastics meet with her friend and friend's dad. I had met the guy a few times before. I can be pleasant and polite with anyone, but I don't tend to talk a lot (or about things that are important to me) with people to whom I don't feel a connection. I talked the guy's ear off. I talked more with him that day than I had with all the people with whom I interacted the previous week. Looking forward to the next meet.

    I think that if you talk to 10 new people, you might find one that fits the bill. It might be even lower odds. The problem is that we tend to interact with fewer new people as we get more set in our ways and daily routines. I try to use my business as a way to connect with new people.

    There have been times when I have felt the way that you do, about the people around me, and it is usually a sign of needing some new blood around and/or going back to people from earlier in my life with whom I have a connection.
     
  15. Tim Fezziwig

    Tim Fezziwig Senior Member

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    I love being alone. I choose to spend time with my wife, band, parents, and cat. I was born alone, I create alone.I'm never lonely. One head I can control, add heads, more problems. Friends? No! I have people I have "history" with, they supply me with a soundboard. I'm my own GOD. I'm my favorite person. When the dust clears- I will ascend, descend, not exist??? I'm riding the FEZZbus until the wheels come off. I must love several people, I am human. I find the more time I'm alone, the clearer things become.
     
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  16. Tone deaf

    Tone deaf Senior Member

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    I like being alone. One of the things about being married with kids was getting some alone time. I don't mean in the other room, I mean actually alone.

    The only time I was actually lonely was when I was married and the marriage was failing. I wasn't alone, but I was lonely.
     
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  17. Fiat Lux

    Fiat Lux Senior Member

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    People often talk about the benefits of replacing quantity with quality in their lives.

    Someone gave me advice years ago which has changed the way I look at life... for the better. I think I’ve discussed this before on the forum, but this thread seems to demand a reboot.

    The advice was to acknowledge and embrace “the perfect minute”. The thinking is that even in the best of lives, there can be no perfect life, no perfect year, and probably not even a perfect month, week or day. Not if we are talking “truly perfect” in every way.

    It’s hard enough even having a perfect hour. There is so much that is out of our control in life that we there are always things that occur in any hour that can spoil what may otherwise be perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever had a perfect hour...

    But the perfect make minute? That’s doable!

    You can make your life better if you understand and accept that your goal should be “perfect minutes”, and that you can have as many of them as you can arrange or manufacture. Substitute the quantity of the good life you lead with real quality. Try to have more of those moments that are truly perfect. Moments reassure you that not only is life worth living, but it can be sublime.

    You can get perfect moments anywhere. I get my fair share looking at the stars at my country property. The night sky is brilliant. On a balmy night, I can stand outside and just contemplate the universe. My life mightn’t be perfect, and my day may have been sh1tful, but during those few moments when staring at the night sky, on my own, with my thoughts, life doesn’t get any better.

    Or those times when life has been tough, and my relationship with my wife may have been strained or ignored, and she slips her hand in mine, and gives it a squeeze. That moment of unselfish love is not going to last forever. But for the precious seconds that it lasts, it is perfect.

    You can have perfect moments playing guitar, driving, running, surfing, anything!

    If you see them for what they are, and accept that no ones whole life, or year, or month, or week, or day is ever going to be perfect, life becomes a whole lot more meaningful and pleasurable.

    Cheers
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2018
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  18. Bigfoot410

    Bigfoot410 Premium Member

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    I know where Jim Carrey lived. It was the only house on the road. Original farmhouse for surrounding land with only a couple industrial companies on it. I used to dirtbike near his house. Easy to see how he coped.
    I would have been in heaven if I was in his shoes. I enjoy being alone.....well at least alone with my dogs.

    It's a state of mind. Not wanting, just enjoying doing stupid stuff and not worrying about anything or pleasing anyone. I don't knock it. :)
     
  19. Pop1655

    Pop1655 Premium Member

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    I hate to sound overly simple, but the ole "glass half full / half empty" really can have a significant impact on where you're at. I have that keen ability to allow certain imagined scenarios to take me to the edge of darkness. Sometimes its really not the reality that needs to change, only the perception.
     
  20. TheX

    TheX Voice of Reason

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    That's why I love cycling. Just me and the challenge of getting out to, and back from wherever the hell I please.
     
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