Pauper's Funeral.

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by brokentoeswalker, Apr 21, 2013.

  1. brokentoeswalker

    brokentoeswalker Senior Member

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    As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

    I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

    And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

    Apparently, I’m still lost…
     
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  2. JeffBlue

    JeffBlue Banned

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    Your heart is in the right place brother. God Bless you and the good we do in life is most certainly noticed by The Almighty. Good on you my friend. You must have sounded awesome.
     
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  3. PNB92

    PNB92 Senior Member

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    so wait...


    this is just a joke right? the guys were laying septic tanks and it gets mistaken as a homeless guys grave?
     
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  4. tex_lt

    tex_lt Banned

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    You are a fine man my friend. As a young Lieutenant, I was placed on funeral duty. I completed about 8 funerals, for service members of multiple generations as the inspecting and awarding officer of the team. It was NEVER easy, and it was ALWAYS an honor. It taught me many important lessons, and on a few occasions I had to present the flag to a person who had never even met the deceased.

    I later donned a uniform to receive an American flag for my little brother. Sometimes death is hard to understand for those who have never been branded by it's impact. You obviously understand it's meaning.
     
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  5. brokentoeswalker

    brokentoeswalker Senior Member

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    Oh hell, i'm sorry for any confusion this has caused. This was a joke, i found it funny and thought i'd share it with the peeps here.

    On a side note, in the summer i often play at the local centotaph if i'm alone, acoustic in hand. I suppose as a thanks to those who never made it home. So i have in fact played for the dead. It is quite somber, but i do it every year none the less.
     
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  6. rockstar232007

    rockstar232007 Senior Member

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    :laugh2:

    You guys are too much!

    Great one, BTW (OP)!:applause:
     
  7. LPSGME

    LPSGME Senior Member

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    As someone expecting to die homeless, alone, and with no family, I find this highly offensive. However it has reminded me to execute a pre-directive to prohibit the chance presence of Canadians.
     
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  8. davebz

    davebz Senior Member

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    Somebody else got it:shock:
     
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  9. tex_lt

    tex_lt Banned

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    Hmmm. Your concept of humor and mine are very different. Glad you got a laugh. I didn't.
     
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  10. PNB92

    PNB92 Senior Member

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    here we go

    [​IMG]


    everything ****ing offends somebody here. and then they gotta TALK about it for 37 pages
     
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  11. Stealthtastic

    Stealthtastic Senior Member

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    The joke wasnt that funny but the fact that some people are illiterate enough on this forum to think it was real is hilarious :laugh2:
     
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  12. rockstar232007

    rockstar232007 Senior Member

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    That's actully the funniest part!:thumb:

    I'm not usually into "death jokes", either. But, after reading through it a couple of times, I couldn't help but laugh.
     
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  13. tex_lt

    tex_lt Banned

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    I wasn't offended, I just stated that it wasn't funny. You have pointed out your fantastic ability to jump to conclusions.
     
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  14. brokentoeswalker

    brokentoeswalker Senior Member

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    I am really sorry, i had forgotten how the Brits call Americans Septic tanks and such, so i can now see how this could be taken badly. It was not intended that way at all. I apologize again. It was not meant to offend Americans in any way shape or form.
     
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  15. JeffBlue

    JeffBlue Banned

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    Wow, what a c*cksucker. I forget that there are @$$holes everywhere and there is at least one in every crowd.
     
  16. PNB92

    PNB92 Senior Member

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    I wouldn't say it's fantastic, but its pretty good.

    Saying "I don't find that funny" after someone tells a joke is a lot like saying "I wouldn't wear those jeans" after going shopping with your sister. Irrelevant, kind of irritating, and an expression of an opinion that nobody asked for. the fastest way to express your disapproval would be to just hit the "back" button on your browser. or at MOST tag the thread with "op cant funny lol"


    :laugh2::laugh2:
     
  17. rockstar232007

    rockstar232007 Senior Member

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    No worries, bro.

    As an American, no offense taken.:D
     
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  18. tinman402

    tinman402 Senior Member

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    Why was the guy being buried in a septic tank?? :wtf:







    :laugh2:
     
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  19. Strato

    Strato Banned

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    I've named my turds before so I'm sure that there's one somewhere that will appreciate it.


    Great big heart you have there.
     
  20. tex_lt

    tex_lt Banned

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    I misunderstood the thread, but I am not offended, nor did I express irritation with the OP. I also don't give a fvck that I have irritated you.
     

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