If a member of your direct family continues to hurt you...

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by L60N, Jan 25, 2010.

  1. L60N

    L60N Senior Member

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    Do you just walk away?

    I am soo very close right now....

    Apologies, I will discuss it with my partner when she gets home.. :laugh2:
     
  2. Jason

    Jason Senior Member

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    Counseling. Sounds like a mediator is needed, though you are being rather vague.
     
  3. Hamtone

    Hamtone Senior Member

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  4. L60N

    L60N Senior Member

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    Im not going to counselling with my mother! :shock:

    Sorry for being vague, just trying to weigh up what I should be typing in a public fora. :laugh2:
     
  5. Hamtone

    Hamtone Senior Member

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    I have disowned several people in my family, sometimes some people are just hurtful
     
  6. L60N

    L60N Senior Member

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    Thats my mother. Shes very hurtful, I dont think she will ever realise just how much...

    Ive tried to talk to her. She's like jekyll & Hide, on form such a laugh, when she feels like it, a complete monster. :(
     
  7. Blues4U

    Blues4U Senior Member

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    You can choose your friends, not your family.

    If you have a complete bastard that brings you nothing but grief, I see nothing wrong with disassociating yourself with them--

    There are members of my family that I have nothing to do with because they are liars, criminals and scumbags--No dishonor in avoiding these sorts of people, even if they are related to you--
     
  8. ZoomZilla

    ZoomZilla V.I.P. Member

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    I have disowned my parents. They are nothing but hurtful people that bring pain to my life. It's not worth it. Live your life and never look back.
     
  9. L60N

    L60N Senior Member

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    Thanks Zoomzilla, that post reads like light at the end of a very dark tunnel to me right now. Thankyou.
     
  10. Jason

    Jason Senior Member

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    Your mother? Yeah, that's a tough one. My mom often says shit that crosses the "mind your own business line". Thankfully, she can handle me being blunt with her and she will apologize if she's in the wrong. My wife's mother though? No matter how tactful you try to be, she turns on the waterworks. :rolleyes: That doesn't negate the fact that she needs that bluntness. If she's going to act like a child, that's her problem.

    I'd say the same advice applies to your mother. She clearly feels that she has the right to speak her mind, so I'd say she's fair game. Don't beat around the bush. If she can't handle it, like I said, that's her problem. No matter the outcome, she will eventually think about what you've said. If she wants nothing to do with that, it's her loss.
     
  11. blakem

    blakem Senior Member

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    Live YOUR life bro.... when it's time to fly, you gotta fly....
     
  12. v8ko

    v8ko Senior Member

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    I hear ya, but the OPs mom might be yelling at him because he didnt clean his room and instead of buying him that Custom he wanted she just bought him a Standard.

    *MOnster*

    Or it could be really bad. Im a little jaded lately dealing with my nephew who blames everyone and everything for his screw ups. Hes on a bad road.

    OP I wouldnt be disowning anyone at this moment if I were you. lol.
     
  13. JMV

    JMV Senior Member

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    I'm in the middle of dealing with a ton of hurt and downright drama with my sister. It's incredibly tempting to walk away for good.

    My wife and I spent a great deal of Saturday (about 5 hours) hashing things out with her because there was apparently some built up malice toward us. This all started after she had deleted us as her facebook friends, we asked her what was up, and she spewed. Mature, right?

    That being said, I am all too tired of this dramatic and ridiculous pattern that has occurred too often and I know will continue. It sucks, but it is worth all the effort my wife and I are putting into the relationship even if it is one-sided.
     
  14. L60N

    L60N Senior Member

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    I dont beat around the bush Jason, but I will not resort to her level of really nasty personal attacks. I could never win that kind of battle with her anyway. She is amazingly skilled at picking horrible nasty things to say to try and make her stance on things seem legitimate.

    All this comes at a very bad time as I am to marry in June. This is where some of the problems are lying, now she has resorted to phoning me up, saying horrible things, then hanging up. I feel like when I lived at home all those years ago, under a threatened cloud..

    I flew over 10 years ago Blake, it felt like "freedom"!
     
  15. v8ko

    v8ko Senior Member

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    Its funny this point was brought up today. I dealt with some stuff over the weekend and as I pondered my actions I realized I took the high road and when the dust settled I wasnt the one that looked like the ASS.

    In every Mother, Father/Son relationship someone has to be the adult.
     
  16. L60N

    L60N Senior Member

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    Hi V8ko,

    Im a 32 year old man, with a very warped mother to deal with.

    I shouldnt have typed this here. Its highly personal, im just at my PC with nobody to air my problems with right now, and put it in the wrong place. Sorry. :thumb:
     
  17. Jason

    Jason Senior Member

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    My wife's father was a real piece of shit, he's been disowned. He's off dying of cancer somewhere with his codependent partner. He was texting and calling us, drunk, at 12-3 in the morning, when we had a 3 month old baby! For some reason, he thought we were after his trust fund... At one point, he left a message bragging about his new pickup truck he'd just bought and saying that my wife could kiss his ass. :rolleyes: Not once did he ever spend time with his new grandson.

    So yeah, sometimes family members do need to FOAD.
     
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  18. Jason

    Jason Senior Member

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    Sorry if sharing my own short story annoyed anybody. :laugh2:
     
  19. v8ko

    v8ko Senior Member

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    Was this something related to Facebook or some kind of I.M. talk? Years ago I gave up "chatting" online to friends/family, seems like people can take a simple sentence and get it all screwed up.
     
  20. dennistruckdriver

    dennistruckdriver V.I.P. Member

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    FOAD?

    [​IMG]
     

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