aziz Ansari and a voice of reason

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by rabidhamster, Jan 15, 2018.

  1. Malikon

    Malikon Best Match! Are You Ready? Premium Member V.I.P. Member

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    well she was giving, "non-verbal" clues,..to be fair her mouth was full.

    I can see how that sends mixed messages though. :laugh2:
     
  2. Dolebludger

    Dolebludger Premium Member

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    Guys, BS like this Aziz matter just distracts from the REAL problem of guys who are highly placed in their corporations/ careers pressuring women in lower placed situations into having sex. The Aziz thing poses no problem to girls/women. They should know, don't go to a guy's place from an event if you don't know what to expect. And for God's sake, don't voluntarily give him a BJ if you don't know what to expect. The real problem is abuse within corporations/carers. And it is not limited to just girls/women. I once worked in the legal dept. of a corp. and had a secretary who couldn't keep from making suggestive remarks to me. I actually was rather flattered, but never acted on them. But my supervisors saw it, and transferred her. This kind of sh*t goes on at work all the time, and no, it isn't right. And it needs to be stopped. But the Aziz thing is pure BS, and merely distracts from the real problem.
     
  3. Caleb

    Caleb Senior Member

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    Hey man, some of us ain't exactly catches who have our phones ringing off the hook from the chicks, so we gotta do what we gotta do. Thank god for the internet, I say.
     
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  4. Dolebludger

    Dolebludger Premium Member

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    There is nothing wrong with finding a girl/woman on the internet whether it be for a hook-up or a LTR. It is all about how you find "volunteers" for you for your purposes. My search for volunteers pre-dates the internet. Back in my day, we found them at a bar, drank a bunch of beer, and slobbered on them! Hell, it worked! But now there are newer ways. The thing is to find a volunteer who wants what you want. I have an adult daughter who wanted a guy for a LTR after she divorced the drunken, unemployed, bum she had. She had a son, and she found a guy who wanted a son but couldn't have one "the old fashioned way" as he was sterile from testicular cancer. Now they are together, he is training my grandson for the NFL (I think he'll make it) and they even look alike! But if you just want a hook-up, there is nothing wrong with the internet either. Don't let the Aziz story scare you off. It is BS. The real problem is high-placed men in society coercing lower placed women into sex for fear of losing or not getting a job they want. If you just keep matters on a equal and known footing, no prob. You want a hook-up and so does she, no prob. You want a LTR and so does she, no prob.
     
  5. Caleb

    Caleb Senior Member

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    Hey Dole, I wasn't referring to online dating at all, it's a hard pass for me on that front. I just meant thank God for internet porn.
     
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  6. Dolebludger

    Dolebludger Premium Member

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    Amen! But it doesn't substitute for the real thing. From reading this thread, all the news about sexual harassment coupled with ridiculous stories like the one about Aziz are scaring guys away from the real thing. As one of the really old guys here, I'll give a bit of advice. Lots of females out there are only looking for a hook-up. If that's what you want, find one of them. Some are looking for a bit more, and others are looking for a LTR. Identify early in the conversation to ensure she is looking for the same thing you are. Ensure that the contraception matter is taken care of if vag sex is on the agenda. If not, don't do that. And recognize verbal non-consent (like "stop") and nonverbal non-consent (like pushing you away), and stop what you are doing then. Speak up and ask "what was I doing wrong"? There are so many ways to do it, you may have just been doing something that hurt, and may need to do something different. Or you may need to stop. If you go by these guidelines, and if you are not a celebrity, nothing negative will come from the encounter. There is no "feminist code". I know this because I know many feminists. My mate is one. All they want is to be treated like everybody else -- including men. Feminists can even help us guys in sexual encounters. because they will tell us what they want (as well as what they don't) and we all (if we admit it) could learn some things. And Feminists hate stuff like this Aziz story, because the gal there was SO not abused!
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2018
  7. Fiat Lux

    Fiat Lux Senior Member

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    Absolute friggin’ bulltish....

    Are you suggesting that sexual courtship is a game with only one player?

    Are you saying Chicks don’t, or are incapable of, giving mixed messages?

    Are you saying persuasion is never part of the game?

    What planet are you from man? In my world, real men don’t project their self esteem problems and ideological brain farts on all other men.

    Cheers
     
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  8. Dolebludger

    Dolebludger Premium Member

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    I don't know what Tanner is saying and I don't understand fully what you are saying. Like the old quote from an old movie "What we have here is a failure to communicate". Women are fully capable of stating what they don't want and what they do want, at least to my experience -- both verbally and non-verbally. But, perhaps some women don't do so in some circumstances. And that may be the problem, both on this thread and in the Aziz case. In the Aziz case, it is possible that the woman did not want to do what she did, and did not want to allow what was done with her, but just did not communicate this in any manner in a timely fashion. The time to communicate such things is before they are done, not after. From what I know about the Aziz matter, the woman did things voluntarily, and allowed things to be done voluntarily, without any sort of resistance or complaint. There are stupid men, and there are stupid women. I am always amazed when any woman claims that a man FORCED HER to give him a BJ. What a dumb man that is! Women have teeth, and that is a good way to get a free sex change operation!

    Back to the Aziz case, I understand that the woman did and allowed all of the acts involved voluntarily and without complaint of any sort at the time, and that she made first social contact with him. If I am wrong, please correct me. If these facts are correct, Aziz did nothing wrong or illegal (which I must say, even though I don't really like him). From what I know of this matter, Aziz had no financial or career pressure over this woman who in fact sought him out. I feel we should be concentrating on cases where men did have these powers over the women.
     
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  9. cybermgk

    cybermgk Singin' the body lectric Premium Member V.I.P. Member

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    All true. But, the difference with this guy, is that all he is guilty of being, is a 'bad date'. He is having his career destroyed because some woman, who had her advances toward him initially rebuffed, who then went back to his place willingly on a 'date', got naked, willingly, performed oral acts, more than once, willingly, had them done on her, who had when she said she didn't want to 'go all the way' had that honored, but then says later , ANONYMOUSLY, that she never felt comfortable doing those acts, but never, by her own admittance, gave verbal clue one, or said no, except as mentioned, and it was honored, but expected him to essentially read her mind, because she apparently had zero agency of her own.

    THAT is the real problem.
     
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  10. cybermgk

    cybermgk Singin' the body lectric Premium Member V.I.P. Member

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    Sorry, but complete and utter BS. The problem is, women have freaking agency, and can say, "Nope, don't want to do that and/or leave.
     
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  11. cybermgk

    cybermgk Singin' the body lectric Premium Member V.I.P. Member

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    And she could have said NO at any time, and/or left too. Why is this escaping these folks hell bent on making men the villain, period. She even said no about intercourse, and it was honored.
     
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  12. Caleb

    Caleb Senior Member

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    Not me, I can promise you that! In fact, I'm generally the one scaring the real thing away, not vice versa. :laugh2:
     
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  13. pnuggett

    pnuggett Senior Member

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    So these women are too weak to say no?
     
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  14. cybermgk

    cybermgk Singin' the body lectric Premium Member V.I.P. Member

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    Apparently so.
     
  15. pnuggett

    pnuggett Senior Member

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    But I thought women were equal in strength and in all other things to men.
     
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  16. cybermgk

    cybermgk Singin' the body lectric Premium Member V.I.P. Member

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    According to some articles, they would have you believe they are stronger than men. (Too bad the study doesn't consider that women eat less than men, so are less impacted by famine, or the cultural aspects of 'protecting the womenz' we have historically done).
     
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  17. rogue3

    rogue3 Senior Member

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    that is the point.She changed her mind. Sorta like going shopping....after i got it home,i changed my mind because it wasn't everything i expected the next day,so i returned it for a full refund...and some.better followup with * the call* the next day.:hmm:
     
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  18. Marshall & Moonshine

    Marshall & Moonshine Senior Member

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    Well, what I meant is that she can change her mind before or during, but not after.
     
  19. rogue3

    rogue3 Senior Member

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    I know...i did quote you out of context..but she will change her mind later all too often,and now its becoming accepted, if current events are the new norm.
     
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  20. cybermgk

    cybermgk Singin' the body lectric Premium Member V.I.P. Member

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    And that is the problem. Women have changed their mind AFTER for forever. It is becoming actionable now, and THAT is just plain wrong.
     

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