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Old 01-05-2014, 03:57 PM   #1
Rich
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"Core values"

I swear to friggin' god, it I hear that phrase used again by another company again (including the one I work for), I'm gonna puke. Do they all hire the same marketing dip****s? And this is coming from someone who got Shanghai'd from IT to Marketing a year ago after our company got bought by a bigger fish.

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Old 01-05-2014, 04:05 PM   #2
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Re: "Core values"

It's all double-speak to keep the drones in check and in the same direction...
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:08 PM   #3
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Re: "Core values"

Go get you some of these core values, you'll feel better. Do it loud!

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Old 01-05-2014, 04:10 PM   #4
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Re: "Core values"

The company I work for now is actually pretty cool and a HUGE step up from the jizzbags who ran it before we got bought out but... While they do give us a lot of cool perks, their propaganda really makes me sick.

You pay me, I work hard for you to earn it, end of story. I appreciate "Jeans Day" and all that stuff, but please don't blow smoke up my ass.

Or am I just jaded from working for THE anti-christ for the past 10 years?
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:14 PM   #5
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Re: "Core values"

I willingly accept the paycheck from my employer, so I choose to STFU even if I disagree with their koolaid propaganda.
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:16 PM   #6
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Re: "Core values"

ya, its everywhere . all the big outfits suscribe to the same news letter/ college newbs that wanna be CEO in 6 months!I'am so glad to be past all that bulloney!
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:25 PM   #7
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Re: "Core values"

Double talk.... run a mile its spouted by a idiot ! out to impress

most people who know there job an know what there doing, dont use it
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:25 PM   #8
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Re: "Core values"

Ah yes, that distinct feeling of simultaneous nausea and murderous hate that rises up in you when you have to listen to another douche spout corporate bulls**t speak.

There's no escape.
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:28 PM   #9
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Re: "Core values"

yeah i've heard it.
if i really wrote down the "core values" i've seen from the upper management where i work, it would be something like...
1- Lying is Good!
2-Stealing is okay for me but not for anyone else.
3-Deny all responsibility for mistakes or problems.
4-Take all credit for any success
5-"Go on-Take The Money and Run!"
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:30 PM   #10
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Re: "Core values"

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Originally Posted by six-string View Post
yeah i've heard it.
if i really wrote down the "core values" i've seen from the upper management where i work, it would be something like...
1- Lying is Good!
2-Stealing is okay for me but not for anyone else.
3-Deny all responsibility for mistakes or problems.
4-Take all credit for any success
5-"Go on-Take The Money and Run!"
You're not a Senate staffer are you?
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:30 PM   #11
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Re: "Core values"

The "core values" of any corporation involve enriching the CEO and other bigwigs, along with keeping the shareholders happy, and bamboozling the employees with Orwellian doublespeak is just one means to that end.
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:34 PM   #12
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Re: "Core values"

Mission statement generator

Quote:
It is our goal to seamlessly restore cutting-edge mindshare to allow us to continue to efficiently operationalize excellent methods of empowerment while maintaining the highest standards.
It's a method of speaking that allows management to say a lot without actually committing to anything concrete.
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:44 PM   #13
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Re: "Core values"

it's the kind of **** phrase marketing people come up with
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:45 PM   #14
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Re: "Core values"

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Originally Posted by MineGoesTo11 View Post
You're not a Senate staffer are you?
close.
i work for another part of the same org.
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:17 PM   #15
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Re: "Core values"

Propaganda is the way of the world these days. As long as people's words are nice and cool and inspiring, as long as they are paying money to advertise how good they are, they can do whatever the hell they want behind the scenes. It works in politics, and in business, and even in relgion. Appearance over reality. Cause if everything appears proper, no one has to bother digging any deeper or has to do anything about stupidities.
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:32 PM   #16
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Re: "Core values"

Mission statements.


Barf.
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:35 PM   #17
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Re: "Core values"

it is part of every mission statement ever written..

You will like this website and want to get your company involved..

Performance Excellence

I have been through it with 2 companies.. There will be no third I will quit first.. Bunch of garbage..
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:41 PM   #18
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Re: "Core values"

Rich you need an innovative, grassroots initiative with a community-based, valued-added project featuring out-of-the-box solutions that creates synergy in a win-win situation while setting the stage for The Companies vision; a future that celebrates diversity while getting measurable results.




...yeah, I could do this corporate thing. Spin bullsh*t? Got it.

I mean I could do the Manager thing, not the actual work.
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:44 PM   #19
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Re: "Core values"

speaking the lies is the easy part Mal. The hard part is to not be left without a chair when the fit hits the shan hahahahhahahaa
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Old 01-05-2014, 07:05 PM   #20
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Re: "Core values"

This sort of "outside the box, paradigm, teaming, excellence, grass roots, customer, total quality, Deming, 6 sigma" Dilbert-speak makes me want to punch everyone in the face. But, I like my paycheck so I just roll my eyes. And bite my tongue.
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Old 01-05-2014, 07:09 PM   #21
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Re: "Core values"

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinman402 View Post
it is part of every mission statement ever written..

You will like this website and want to get your company involved..

Performance Excellence

I have been through it with 2 companies.. There will be no third I will quit first.. Bunch of garbage..

I'am with ya buddy!!
you ever notice how those illustrious Ideas are really on a one way street ? from the top down and no application of said ideas from the bottom to the top!
some of us oldsters would ask questions at some of these feel good mtgs. and call attn. to upper level short comings after they tried to tell us WE needed to work on a said problem, that WE, were'nt even making! it had been outsourced!

WE suggested that they bring those parts back in house!!
so WE could correct the problem!!

a fun time was had by all , well most everybody!!
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Old 01-05-2014, 07:59 PM   #22
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Re: "Core values"

Orwellian newspeak
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:03 PM   #23
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Re: "Core values"

whaddya expect. large corporations are run by sociopaths
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:11 PM   #24
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Re: "Core values"

I worked for a molecular failure who spoke only in corporate buzzwords. When I hear "boots on the ground" or "low hanging fruit", I want to stomp on a box on a box of kittens.
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:19 PM   #25
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Re: "Core values"

I make it a point to spare my employees this disingenuous, demotivational pablum. If I wouldn't want to hear it myself, why would I make anybody else have to listen to it. I don't envy anybody who has to be subjected to the dog 'n pony show corporate pep rally.
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:20 PM   #26
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Re: "Core values"

I hate myself for posting this, but it's what you got coming for the thread OP.

Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south.

In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard. Almost frozen, a cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then, a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and ate him.
Morals to the Story

1 Everyone who ****s on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2 Everyone who gets you out of the **** is not necessarily your friend.
3 And, if you're warm and happy in a pile of ****, keep your mouth shut!!!



But then, I'm drunk and stoned, so......... meh.
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:43 PM   #27
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Re: "Core values"

Core Peen.
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Old 01-05-2014, 10:04 PM   #28
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Re: "Core values"

It's that darn double standard crap.
World is swimming in it.
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Old 01-05-2014, 10:07 PM   #29
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Re: "Core values"

HR departments come up with this **** in order to justify their existence.
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Old 01-05-2014, 10:17 PM   #30
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Re: "Core values"

Business Principles

1. Our clients' interests always come first. Our experience shows that if we serve our clients well, our own success will follow.

2. Our assets are our people, capital and reputation. If any of these is ever diminished, the last is the most difficult to restore. We are dedicated to complying fully with the letter and spirit of the laws, rules and ethical principles that govern us. Our continued success depends upon unswerving adherence to this standard.

3. Our goal is to provide superior returns to our shareholders. Profitability is critical to achieving superior returns, building our capital, and attracting and keeping our best people. Significant employee stock ownership aligns the interests of our employees and our shareholders.

4. We take great pride in the professional quality of our work. We have an uncompromising determination to achieve excellence in everything we undertake. Though we may be involved in a wide variety and heavy volume of activity, we would, if it came to a choice, rather be best than biggest.

5. We stress creativity and imagination in everything we do. While recognizing that the old way may still be the best way, we constantly strive to find a better solution to a client's problems. We pride ourselves on having pioneered many of the practices and techniques that have become standard in the industry.

6. We make an unusual effort to identify and recruit the very best person for every job. Although our activities are measured in billions of dollars, we select our people one by one. In a service business, we know that without the best people, we cannot be the best firm.

7. We offer our people the opportunity to move ahead more rapidly than is possible at most other places. Advancement depends on merit and we have yet to find the limits to the responsibility our best people are able to assume. For us to be successful, our men and women must reflect the diversity of the communities and cultures in which we operate. That means we must attract, retain and motivate people from many backgrounds and perspectives. Being diverse is not optional; it is what we must be.

8. We stress teamwork in everything we do. While individual creativity is always encouraged, we have found that team effort often produces the best results. We have no room for those who put their personal interests ahead of the interests of the firm and its clients.

9. The dedication of our people to the firm and the intense effort they give their jobs are greater than one finds in most other organizations. We think that this is an important part of our success.

10. We consider our size an asset that we try hard to preserve. We want to be big enough to undertake the largest project that any of our clients could contemplate, yet small enough to maintain the loyalty, the intimacy and the esprit de corps that we all treasure and that contribute greatly to our success.

11. We constantly strive to anticipate the rapidly changing needs of our clients and to develop new services to meet those needs. We know that the world of finance will not stand still and that complacency can lead to extinction.

12. We regularly receive confidential information as part of our normal client relationships. To breach a confidence or to use confidential information improperly or carelessly would be unthinkable.

13. Our business is highly competitive, and we aggressively seek to expand our client relationships. However, we must always be fair competitors and must never denigrate other firms.

14. Integrity and honesty are at the heart of our business. We expect our people to maintain high ethical standards in everything they do, both in their work for the firm and in their personal lives.

Source: GoldmanSachs.com
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