New Song: San Rafael... Critique Please

[Torren61]

I started writing this about four days ago and just finished it this morning. I'd like an honest critique. Brutal is fine. Don't try to be nice to spare my feelings.

Eight guitar tracks and one drum loop track. Guitar: Godin 5th Avenue with an aftermarket Bartollini 5J installed. Daw: Garage Band and Guitar Rig 5. Interface: Reason Balance


http://soundcloud.com/torren61/san-rafael

Thanks for listening!

[Electroman67]

Another great effort Torren, put me on your mailing list when the CD is ready.
Absolutely nothing to crititque here. Great job imo...........................Mike
Left a note on SC.

[Kezman]

Awesome job, I have nothing to crititque about it, it was easy on the ears
It was as if, I popped in a CD and pushed play

[middy]

Hey Torren. The guitar in this is excellent. I like the tempo. I like the slightly ambient feel of the drums with the guitars. My personal preference would be to bring the snare a bit forward and beef the kick a touch. The bummer with the drum track doesn't have to do with the tonality as much as the pattern with no change ups being a dynamics killer. Though the tempo is great there are no fills or even one change up. Listen at 1:10 (1:10 on as well as 2:30 the guitars are just fantastic btw) into it for instance. A tasteful drum fill there would make that section very dynamic and interesting. Oddly, the guitar parts sound like they tailor ready for a fill fit in as is. Throw a nice tasteful Fender Jazz and work the mix on this It'll be killer.

[Torren61]

Originally Posted by middy

Hey Torren. The guitar in this is excellent. I like the tempo. I like the slightly ambient feel of the drums with the guitars. My personal preference would be to bring the snare a bit forward and beef the kick a touch. The bummer with the drum track doesn't have to do with the tonality as much as the pattern with no change ups being a dynamics killer. Though the tempo is great there are no fills or even one change up. Listen at 1:10 (1:10 on as well as 2:30 the guitars are just fantastic btw) into it for instance. A tasteful drum fill there would make that section very dynamic and interesting. Oddly, the guitar parts sound like they tailor ready for a fill fit in as is. Throw a nice tasteful Fender Jazz and work the mix on this It'll be killer.

Hey Brother! Thank you for the constructive and honest critique! You are absolutely cirrect about the drums. I just dont know how to do that. I got the drums from my EZ drummer program. I added echo and reverb. I really put the drums in there to help me keep time. I prefer that to a metronome. I'll continue to work on the track and see if I can get some drum fill in there that sounds good.

Come over to Backstage and find the Sound Cloud thread. Post some of your stuff!

[Electroman67]

[QUOTE=middy;4137687] <~~~~~~~Smart

[tazzboy]

Very good Torren

[Torren61]

Originally Posted by tazzboy

Very good Torren

Thanks!

[v8ko]

First off, your a really, really good guitarist. This is not the type of music I listen to ( but I hope I know good music when I hear it, and Im liking this) so take the critique with a grain of salt please.

Really missing a bass in this song. I would assume with such smooth guitar playing and a nice drum track that a bass would really play well with the drums. The song construction is nice and flowing but as an instrumental it seems to stagnant in parts, and thats where a nice bass line might keep things interesting.

Years ago I knew a fellow that was a body builder, he was a pretty large fellow and although I know nothing about that type of workout I suggested for his size and skills that he wasnt pushing his body near hard enough. Long story short in about 6 months the guy really started lifting and got huge.

Anyways, all that for this, your guitar playing, composition etc is really good far better than what I am capable of at this moment and I think this song needs just that kind of push from your playing. Perhaps a small piece about a third of the way in and something grand and climatic near the end. It doesnt need to be fast and frivolous but it needs to get to another level.

Again, I dont know enough about this style to say anything so please just take it for whats its worth.

Dan.

[Torren61]

Originally Posted by v8ko

First off, your a really, really good guitarist. This is not the type of music I listen to ( but I hope I know good music when I hear it, and Im liking this) so take the critique with a grain of salt please.

Really missing a bass in this song. I would assume with such smooth guitar playing and a nice drum track that a bass would really play well with the drums. The song construction is nice and flowing but as an instrumental it seems to stagnant in parts, and thats where a nice bass line might keep things interesting.

Years ago I knew a fellow that was a body builder, he was a pretty large fellow and although I know nothing about that type of workout I suggested for his size and skills that he wasnt pushing his body near hard enough. Long story short in about 6 months the guy really started lifting and got huge.

Anyways, all that for this, your guitar playing, composition etc is really good far better than what I am capable of at this moment and I think this song needs just that kind of push from your playing. Perhaps a small piece about a third of the way in and something grand and climatic near the end. It doesnt need to be fast and frivolous but it needs to get to another level.

Again, I dont know enough about this style to say anything so please just take it for whats its worth.

Dan.

Thanks! I'm not much of a song writer. I don't read music. I don't know scales. I don't know what key the song is in. I know the names of some of the chords but I don't know the names of all of them. So, when I play, I play what I think sounds like it fits. I could mess with the song structure but I'm not really sure if I could come up with something like what you'rr talking about.

I DID post the tune on Musicians Collaboration Studio. There are a lot of good song writers over there. I'll see what happens.

Thanks for the compliments and thanks for the critique. I appreciate that you listened and put a lot of thought into your critique. Thanks for that!