Why do women always hide and move things?

[Phil47uk]

Had a bath a few weeks ago and reached out for the shampoo. Well that's what it said on the bottle amongst all the other jars and bottles of stuff near the bath that my wife and daughter have between them both.
I put some on and couldn't get the bloody stuff to lather. I used half the bottle and it still wouldn't lather, so when I went downstairs I said to them "What's that crappy shampoo you two have bought, it doesn't even lather up".
My wife asked "What bottle was it in?" I said "A clear one with a green label".
They both then fall about in hysterics..
"So what's so bloody funny? " I ask them.
" You are classic Dad my daughter cries, tears streaming down her face from laughing. "That's the dog shampoo".
What the fuck is dog shampoo doing in the bloody bathroom? Why don't you try reading the label my wife tells me, her mascara streaming down her face too.

Now today it happened again.
I get in the bath and notice two purple heart shaped bars of soap. I know my wife likes lavender so I don't give it much thought.
So anyway I go to use the soap and that wont lather up either..What the fuck is going on here. More screams of laughter from my wife when I call her.
" That's not soap she tells me".. They are candles.

I have never seen so much stuff.. my bedside table is full of jars and bottles and tubes of all sorts of things.. Blusher..Foundation..make remover.. You name it and those two have got it. In fact it wasn't long ago I squeezed some sort of make up mousse onto my toothbrush, as I thought it was a new tube of toothpaste.. Why did someone leave it there?


My wife can find a pair of socks in a drawer that don't exist. I don't know how she does it, but she can.
According to them it's because I don't listen, or look.
I don't have this problem with my two sons. Mind you, they can't find anything either, but they don't live at home now, so it's just me versus the two gals.
I was looking for a shirt the other day and my wife shouted up the stairs " There is a clean one on a hanger in the wardrobe. I look in there for ten minutes and cant see it.. I shout downstairs again. " No there isn't".
She then comes thundering up the stairs, opens the cupboard door and pulls it straight out.. I told her "Well it wasn't there when I looked."
"You stupid man, open your eyes" was the reply as she swept off out of the room.

Is this just me, or does anyone else here have this problem?

[EtriX]

Women are strange. What you need in the bath is one (1) soap, one (1) shampoo and one (1) conditioner.
Everything else is fluff.

[Aravind]

Originally Posted by EtriX

Women are strange. What you need in the bath is one (1) soap, one (1) shampoo and one (1) conditioner.
Everything else is fluff.

Whats a conditioner??!!

[mikemack]

My wife rearanged the livingroom on a weekly basis, drove me nuts.
Now I have a home theater so she cant move shit

[John Vasco]

Originally Posted by Phil47uk

my bedside table is full of jars and bottles and tubes of all sorts of things.. Blusher..Foundation..make remover..

After this admission, you cockney nancy, you are the one who DEFINITELY wears a bra, not me!

[guitarbob123]

i went down the garden shed three times today to look for coffee.
my mom goes down and finds it first time!!!!

[Donal]

Originally Posted by guitarbob123

i went down the garden shed three times today to look for coffee. my mom goes down and finds it first time!!!!

You got coffee in the garden shed ?

Thats where I keep the lawnmower and other garden utensils, but definatly not coffee.

cheers
Don

[Drudeboy]

There is usually a packet of 'moist toilet tissue' next to the loo, in one of those plastic packets with the snap shut lid. A while back I finished my business and went for the refreshing clean final wipe with the moist tissue.

Got downstairs and my arse was stinging like fuck. I had to go back to the bathroom and run some cold water ffs.

I looked at the packet and they were fucking toilet cleaning wipes

WHY WERE THEY IN THE SAME PLACE AS THE MOIST ARSE WIPES!

[guitarbob123]

Originally Posted by Donal

You got coffee in the garden shed ?

Thats where I keep the lawnmower and other garden utensils, but definatly not coffee.

cheers
Don

we have a freezer and a couple of cuboards i their.
we keep all the equipment round the back. (in a little building)

[BrianGT]

I have the same problem with my wife Phil!
She knows where everything I can't find is....it's frustrating!

The other day she cleaned around in my studio....and set all my amp knobs to 12 o'clock......"because they looked better!" Years of fine tuning gone up in smoke!

[TKOjams]

They're crazy

[TKOjams]

Originally Posted by BrianGT

I have the same problem with my wife Phil!
She knows where everything I can't find is....it's frustrating!

The other day she cleaned around in my studio....and set all my amp knobs to 12 o'clock......"because they looked better!" Years of fine tuning gone up in smoke!

My studio is locked but, I have two small kids

[Hemply]

Your not alone Phil though I must say you're out there on your own feeling waxy and craving a squeek toy.

HempBird does the same thing to me around the HempPad. Mind you I've lived quite comfortably for many years in solitude, if I couldn't find something it's because I didn't have it!

I do ALL of the cooking here at the HempPad so I am used to my cooking untensils being where I left them. One day I went mad looking for my measuring cup till I finally had to call the HempBird up on the telephone and ask her if she has seen what I was looking for? Of course she did, she used it the night before, washed it and placed it some place it should not have been.

The bath is another area of mystery as well. When it was just me and the dog I had 1 bottle of shampoo(bi-ped), 1 bottle of conditioner, 1 bar of soap(no wick), 1 toothpaste, deodorant, shaving cream. The HempBird after moving in wasn't happy with the lack of storage space in the bath and one day brought home a bakers rack. I'm thinking "lovely for the kitchen"... "no it's for the bath". Now I have a bakers rack with 4 shelves in the bath... any idea how many shelves I get to utilize?

Yeah NONE!!!

Four shelves of anti-aging, anti-wrinkle creams, potions, scrubs, masks, blasting powders, etc,. Then there is the "mystery jar"... no lable, most likely full of freshly harvested stem cells and I swear if the light from the window in the bath hits it just right you can see a shrunken head floating around in there!

I don't know if it's due to my undying love for the HempBird or out of sheer fear that I dare not tell her none of that crap is working!

We still have death to look forward to!

[Cookie-boy]

I can lay my hand on nothing, she can lay her hand on everything!

[dennistruckdriver]

Originally Posted by Phil47uk

Why do women always hide and move things?

They're mean through and through.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by John Vasco

After this admission, you cockney nancy, you are the one who DEFINITELY wears a bra, not me!

. No, there is a mirror over the sink in our bedroom and it happens to be on my side of the bed. What they do is keep some sort of weave basket on top of my bloody bedside table, so they can get to their stuff easily when looking in the mirror. That's not including the hundred and one other bottles and jars on a sideboard and in the bathroom.

[GibsonByBirth]

Try getting up early in the morning and play the who hid my parkingson's medication and where did they hide it game.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by Lena hadley

What your wife said is right..."open your eyes"

Blimey. We can tell what gender you are straight away.

I do look, but I honestly think men must have some kind of mental block when it comes to issues ike this. ( Well the married ones anyway ).
My wife says it's because we are lazy and know women will do it for us.
Yep! maybe there is a seed of truth in there somewhere I suppose.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by guitarbob123

i went down the garden shed three times today to look for coffee.
my mom goes down and finds it first time!!!!

..

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by Drudeboy

There is usually a packet of 'moist toilet tissue' next to the loo, in one of those plastic packets with the snap shut lid. A while back I finished my business and went for the refreshing clean final wipe with the moist tissue.

Got downstairs and my arse was stinging like fuck. I had to go back to the bathroom and run some cold water ffs.

I looked at the packet and they were fucking toilet cleaning wipes

WHY WERE THEY IN THE SAME PLACE AS THE MOIST ARSE WIPES!

..Fucking ace...

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by BrianGT

I have the same problem with my wife Phil!
She knows where everything I can't find is....it's frustrating!

The other day she cleaned around in my studio....and set all my amp knobs to 12 o'clock......"because they looked better!" Years of fine tuning gone up in smoke!

Well I rib my wife, because it was only about two years ago she knew where the oil went in her car.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by Hemply

Your not alone Phil though I must say you're out there on your own feeling waxy and craving a squeek toy.

HempBird does the same thing to me around the HempPad. Mind you I've lived quite comfortably for many years in solitude, if I couldn't find something it's because I didn't have it!

I do ALL of the cooking here at the HempPad so I am used to my cooking untensils being where I left them. One day I went mad looking for my measuring cup till I finally had to call the HempBird up on the telephone and ask her if she has seen what I was looking for? Of course she did, she used it the night before, washed it and placed it some place it should not have been.

The bath is another area of mystery as well. When it was just me and the dog I had 1 bottle of shampoo(bi-ped), 1 bottle of conditioner, 1 bar of soap(no wick), 1 toothpaste, deodorant, shaving cream. The HempBird after moving in wasn't happy with the lack of storage space in the bath and one day brought home a bakers rack. I'm thinking "lovely for the kitchen"... "no it's for the bath". Now I have a bakers rack with 4 shelves in the bath... any idea how many shelves I get to utilize?

Yeah NONE!!!

Four shelves of anti-aging, anti-wrinkle creams, potions, scrubs, masks, blasting powders, etc,. Then there is the "mystery jar"... no lable, most likely full of freshly harvested stem cells and I swear if the light from the window in the bath hits it just right you can see a shrunken head floating around in there!

I don't know if it's due to my undying love for the HempBird or out of sheer fear that I dare not tell her none of that crap is working!

We still have death to look forward to!

..
On the few ocassions one of my sons and I have been alone for a day or two, we cope well. We both have a cup each and wash it if we want another drink and use one plate each. When my wife and daughter arrive they are amazed to find the dishwasher is empty and hasn't been used.
The other day she had to go to work early and asked me to empty the dishwasher. Jesus! there were 26 bloody cups and just as many plates, along with God knows how many knives and forks. it took me about ten minutes to put everything away.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by Cookie-boy

I can lay my hand on nothing, she can lay her hand on everything!

Sounds like she's got you well and truly sorted.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by dennistruckdriver

They're mean through and through.

Yes, women would rather be right than reasonable. If you criticise them you'll soon find yourself arguing over something that happened 20 years ago, defending yourself and yet not having the slightest clue as to how you came to be arguing about something totally unrelated to what you were arguing about in the first place.
They store away everything you have ever done wrong and bring it up as ammo even decades later.
My wife is an expert of being able to do this.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by GibsonByBirth

Try getting up early in the morning and play the who hide my parkingson's medication and where did they hide it game.

[LazyDays]

You guys are cracking me up! We've never kept our shampoos and soaps in the shower. We take them out and put them on the bathroom counter. We use different shampoos so no confusion there. Oh, and we don't have a dog.

[GibsonByBirth]

Originally Posted by LazyDays

You guys are cracking me up! We've never kept our shampoos and soaps in the shower. We take them out and put them on the bathroom counter. We use different shampoos so no confusion there. Oh, and we don't have a dog.

You don't have a dog? Now you're cracking me up.

[LazyDays]

Why is that funny GibsonByBirth?

[GibsonByBirth]

"You guys are cracking me up! ... Oh, and we don't have a dog."


Why did you say this?

[LazyDays]

I said that because of what Phil said:

Originally Posted by Phil47uk

" You are classic Dad my daughter cries, tears streaming down her face from laughing. "That's the dog shampoo".