uk MLP meet (something worries me)

[crambo]

Brilliant!
Can't wait till the 21st may.
There should be lots of us coming down, just one thing worries me though.
Is this where the Vasco/Phil duel goin to take place?
Vasco is a nice old fellow and we would'nt like to see him thrashed out of exsitance on such a joyous occasion, don't do it John! I have seen this guy and, well hes deadly, and i mean deadly. It will be like the Milky bar kid taking on doc holiday in a gun fight. Don't do it John! we like you to much! Just sit back with a plate of chips and enjoy the evening

[Boleskinehouse]

We're hoping to make it from the states and I would be extremely disappointed if there was no Phil/Vasco duel.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by crambo

Brilliant!
Can't wait till the 21st may.
There should be lots of us coming down, just one thing worries me though.
Is this where the Vasco/Phil duel goin to take place?
Vasco is a nice old fellow and we would'nt like to see him thrashed out of exsitance on such a joyous occasion, don't do it John! I have seen this guy and, well hes deadly, and i mean deadly. It will be like the Milky bar kid taking on doc holiday in a gun fight. Don't do it John! we like you to much! Just sit back with a plate of chips and enjoy the evening

... 'The Milky Bar Kid'.... Haven't seen him in years.

YouTube - Milky Bar -- 30th Anniversary

YouTube - Milky Bar -- 30th Anniversary

So the Milky Bar Kid grew up to be Johhny Vasco? Oooops sorry I meant Johhny Ringo?

YouTube - Doc Holliday vs. Johnny Ringo

YouTube - Doc Holliday vs. Johnny Ringo

Don't worry Crambo, we'll look after the old fella. Should he dare to mention the word duel at the meet his demise and despatch will be swift and painless.

Fear not though, I don't think he'll mention it as he'll be too busy trying to remember the chords for 'Ferry Cross The Mersey'.

[Von Bek]

Will quarter be given, in the even one of you old farts begins to fade? I'm guessing, no - it'll be a steel driving run to the end.

[nsureit]

Rules

Duels could be fought with some sort of sword or, from the 18th century on, with pistols.[3] For this end special sets of duelling pistols were crafted for the wealthiest of noblemen.

The traditional situation that led to a duel often went something like this. After the offense, whether real or imagined, one party would demand satisfaction from the offender,[4] signaling this demand with an inescapably insulting gesture, such as throwing his glove before him, hence the phrase "throwing down the gauntlet". This originates from medieval times, when a knight was knighted. The knight-to-be would receive the accolade of three light blows on the shoulder with a sword and, in some cases, a ritual slap in the face, said to be the last affronts he could accept without redress.[5] Therefore anyone being slapped with a glove was considered—like a knight—obligated to accept the challenge or be dishonored. Contrary to popular belief, hitting one in the face with a glove was not a challenge, but could be done after the glove had been thrown down as a response to the one issuing the challenge. Each party would name a trusted representative (a second) who would, between them, determine a suitable "field of honour." It was also the duty of each party's second to check that the weapons were equal and that the duel was fair. In the 16th and early 17th centuries, it was normal practice for the seconds as well as the principals to fight each other. Later the seconds' role became more pacific, to make sure the rules were followed and to try to achieve reconciliation,[6] but as late as 1777 the Irish code still allowed the seconds an option to exchange shots.

The chief criteria for choosing the field of honour were isolation, to avoid discovery and interruption by the authorities, and jurisdictional ambiguity, also to avoid legal consequences. Islands in rivers dividing two jurisdictions were popular dueling sites; the cliffs below Weehawken on the Hudson River where the Hamilton-Burr duel occurred were a popular field of honour for New York duelists because of the uncertainty whether New York or New Jersey jurisdiction applied. Duels traditionally took place at dawn, when the poor light would make the participants less likely to be seen. For some time before the mid-18th century, swordsmen dueling at dawn so often carried lanterns to see each other that fencing manuals integrated them into their lessons, using the lantern to parry blows and blind the opponent.[7] The manuals sometimes show the combatants carrying the lantern in the left hand wrapped behind the back, which is still one of the traditional positions for the off hand in modern fencing.[8]

At the choice of the offended party, the duel could be

* to first blood, in which case the duel would be ended as soon as one man was wounded, even if the wound was minor:
* until one man was so severely wounded as to be physically unable to continue the duel;
* to the death, in which case there would be no satisfaction until the other party was mortally wounded;
* or, in the case of pistol duels, each party would fire one shot. If neither man was hit and if the challenger stated that he was satisfied, the duel would be declared over. A pistol duel could continue until one man was wounded or killed, but to have more than three exchanges of fire was considered barbaric and, if no hits were achieved, somewhat ridiculous.

Under the latter conditions, one or both parties could intentionally miss in order to fulfill the conditions of the duel, without loss of either life or honor. However, to do so, "to delope", could imply that your opponent was not worth shooting. This practice occurred despite being expressly banned by the Code Duello of 1777. Rule 13 stated: "No dumb shooting or firing in the air is admissible in any case... children's play must be dishonorable on one side or the other, and is accordingly prohibited." Practices varied, however, and many pistol duels were to first blood or death. The offended party could stop the duel at any time if he deemed his honor satisfied. In some duels there were seconds (stand-ins) who in the event of the primary dueler was not able to finish the duel would then take his place. This was usually done in duels with swords, where one's expertise was sometimes limited. The second would also act as a witness.

For a pistol duel, the parties would be placed back to back with loaded weapons in hand and walk a set number of paces, turn to face the opponent, and shoot. Typically, the graver the insult, the fewer the paces agreed upon. Alternatively, a pre-agreed length of ground would be measured out by the seconds and marked, often with swords stuck in the ground (referred to as "points"). At a given signal, often the dropping of a handkerchief, the principals could advance and fire at will. This latter system reduced the possibility of cheating, as neither principal had to trust the other not to turn too soon. Another system involved alternate shots being taken—the challenged firing first.

Many historical duels were prevented by the difficulty of arranging the "methodus pugnandi". In the instance of Dr. Richard Brocklesby, the number of paces could not be agreed upon; and in the affair between Mark Akenside and Ballow, one had determined never to fight in the morning, and the other that he would never fight in the afternoon. John Wilkes, who did not stand upon ceremony in these little affairs, when asked by Lord Talbot how many times they were to fire, replied, "just as often as your Lordship pleases; I have brought a bag of bullets and a flask of gunpowder."

[John Vasco]

The duel will take place. It will be both interesting and exciting, building up to an incredible climax (and that doesn't mean Boles fapping off in front of everyone...).

The grey-haired piece of southern turd is a teacher, you see, a theorist. Bland notes that conform to all the little structures that he teaches day in and day out. Played on a bland Banjocaster. The Scouser on the other hand has had no formal training, just plays from the heart and soul.

A Banjocaster through a Leo's Banjocaster amp, or a Les Paul Custom through a Mesa Boogie F-50. No contest really, the LP & Mesa will shit all over the other stuff. End of.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by Von Bek

Will quarter be given, in the even one of you old farts begins to fade? I'm guessing, no - it'll be a steel driving run to the end.

No quarter given Sir. If the old codger throws down the gauntlet then so be it. Chivalry must be adhered to down here in the Shire.

Vasco is a stubborn old goat and will probably go out like this.

YouTube - Monty Python-The Black Knight

YouTube - Monty Python-The Black Knight

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by nsureit

Rules

Duels could be fought with some sort of sword or, from the 18th century on, with pistols.[3] For this end special sets of duelling pistols were crafted for the wealthiest of noblemen.

The traditional situation that led to a duel often went something like this. After the offense, whether real or imagined, one party would demand satisfaction from the offender,[4] signaling this demand with an inescapably insulting gesture, such as throwing his glove before him, hence the phrase "throwing down the gauntlet". This originates from medieval times, when a knight was knighted. The knight-to-be would receive the accolade of three light blows on the shoulder with a sword and, in some cases, a ritual slap in the face, said to be the last affronts he could accept without redress.[5] Therefore anyone being slapped with a glove was considered—like a knight—obligated to accept the challenge or be dishonored. Contrary to popular belief, hitting one in the face with a glove was not a challenge, but could be done after the glove had been thrown down as a response to the one issuing the challenge. Each party would name a trusted representative (a second) who would, between them, determine a suitable "field of honour." It was also the duty of each party's second to check that the weapons were equal and that the duel was fair. In the 16th and early 17th centuries, it was normal practice for the seconds as well as the principals to fight each other. Later the seconds' role became more pacific, to make sure the rules were followed and to try to achieve reconciliation,[6] but as late as 1777 the Irish code still allowed the seconds an option to exchange shots.

The chief criteria for choosing the field of honour were isolation, to avoid discovery and interruption by the authorities, and jurisdictional ambiguity, also to avoid legal consequences. Islands in rivers dividing two jurisdictions were popular dueling sites; the cliffs below Weehawken on the Hudson River where the Hamilton-Burr duel occurred were a popular field of honour for New York duelists because of the uncertainty whether New York or New Jersey jurisdiction applied. Duels traditionally took place at dawn, when the poor light would make the participants less likely to be seen. For some time before the mid-18th century, swordsmen dueling at dawn so often carried lanterns to see each other that fencing manuals integrated them into their lessons, using the lantern to parry blows and blind the opponent.[7] The manuals sometimes show the combatants carrying the lantern in the left hand wrapped behind the back, which is still one of the traditional positions for the off hand in modern fencing.[8]

At the choice of the offended party, the duel could be

* to first blood, in which case the duel would be ended as soon as one man was wounded, even if the wound was minor:
* until one man was so severely wounded as to be physically unable to continue the duel;
* to the death, in which case there would be no satisfaction until the other party was mortally wounded;
* or, in the case of pistol duels, each party would fire one shot. If neither man was hit and if the challenger stated that he was satisfied, the duel would be declared over. A pistol duel could continue until one man was wounded or killed, but to have more than three exchanges of fire was considered barbaric and, if no hits were achieved, somewhat ridiculous.

Under the latter conditions, one or both parties could intentionally miss in order to fulfill the conditions of the duel, without loss of either life or honor. However, to do so, "to delope", could imply that your opponent was not worth shooting. This practice occurred despite being expressly banned by the Code Duello of 1777. Rule 13 stated: "No dumb shooting or firing in the air is admissible in any case... children's play must be dishonorable on one side or the other, and is accordingly prohibited." Practices varied, however, and many pistol duels were to first blood or death. The offended party could stop the duel at any time if he deemed his honor satisfied. In some duels there were seconds (stand-ins) who in the event of the primary dueler was not able to finish the duel would then take his place. This was usually done in duels with swords, where one's expertise was sometimes limited. The second would also act as a witness.

For a pistol duel, the parties would be placed back to back with loaded weapons in hand and walk a set number of paces, turn to face the opponent, and shoot. Typically, the graver the insult, the fewer the paces agreed upon. Alternatively, a pre-agreed length of ground would be measured out by the seconds and marked, often with swords stuck in the ground (referred to as "points"). At a given signal, often the dropping of a handkerchief, the principals could advance and fire at will. This latter system reduced the possibility of cheating, as neither principal had to trust the other not to turn too soon. Another system involved alternate shots being taken—the challenged firing first.

Many historical duels were prevented by the difficulty of arranging the "methodus pugnandi". In the instance of Dr. Richard Brocklesby, the number of paces could not be agreed upon; and in the affair between Mark Akenside and Ballow, one had determined never to fight in the morning, and the other that he would never fight in the afternoon. John Wilkes, who did not stand upon ceremony in these little affairs, when asked by Lord Talbot how many times they were to fire, replied, "just as often as your Lordship pleases; I have brought a bag of bullets and a flask of gunpowder."

Blimey nsureit.. Looks like we have found one of two seconds then.. Anyone want to volunteer as the other?

[nsureit]

Originally Posted by Phil47uk

Blimey nsureit.. Looks like we have found one of two seconds then.. Anyone want to volunteer as the other?

Must give credit where credit is due...

Here's what I would bring to this duel...

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by John Vasco

The duel will take place. It will be both interesting and exciting, building up to an incredible climax (and that doesn't mean Boles fapping off in front of everyone...).

The grey-haired piece of southern turd is a teacher, you see, a theorist. Bland notes that conform to all the little structures that he teaches day in and day out. Played on a bland Banjocaster. The Scouser on the other hand has had no formal training, just plays from the heart and soul.

A Banjocaster through a Leo's Banjocaster amp, or a Les Paul Custom through a Mesa Boogie F-50. No contest really, the LP & Mesa will shit all over the other stuff. End of.

Fighting words indeed you northern chimp. You have insulted me Sir.

Your challenge is accepted on this day, The 5th November 2009. And may God have mercy on your soul. If you have one that is and that's debatable.

Theorist indeed..Ha!. Agreed, I do have some 30,000 teaching hours under my belt, but you are failing to take into account the decades prior to that I spent on the road, doing more gigs then you have comsumed bags of chips . ( And that's one hell of a fucking lot of bags).

So you threaten me with one of those sterile Messy Booger amps do you.

Pile of shite, if you'll excuse the nothernism. If we play blues Sir, I will be using Happy Humphrey ( My R0 ) and he'll be going through a 59 Bassman with a rectifier valve from a B52 bomber....Are your spindly little legs quivering yet? The last time I set eyes on a pair of legs like yours was when I made a wish at Christmas.

Choose your genre of music well my heathen friend and I will choose the weapons with which to dispatch you as quickly and painlessly as possible.

[John Vasco]

Originally Posted by crambo

Brilliant!
Can't wait till the 21st may.
There should be lots of us coming down, just one thing worries me though.
Is this where the Vasco/Phil duel goin to take place?
Vasco is a nice old fellow and we would'nt like to see him thrashed out of exsitance on such a joyous occasion, don't do it John! I have seen this guy and, well hes deadly, and i mean deadly. It will be like the Milky bar kid taking on doc holiday in a gun fight. Don't do it John! we like you to much! Just sit back with a plate of chips and enjoy the evening

crambo,

Serious question: Will you be attending as an MLP member? Reason I ask is because whereas Phil is working at the Bridport end pulling things together, I'm collating a list of all those who are going to attend. This is for the purpose of notifying the pub how manmy will attend, in order for the landlord to know how much scoff to lay on. Could you please reply here, or in a PM to me. Let me know also if any others are attending.

John V.

[John Vasco]

You wanna play blues, shit for brains? You start it, and I'll finish you off.

[John Vasco]

Ya big girl's blouse, calling your guitar 'Happy Humphrey'. What a tosser! You don't impress me with your dixyphlidian theory shite!

[bad261]

This is some of the funniest shite, I mean shit, I have ever read.

[Cookie-boy]

Originally Posted by John Vasco

The duel will take place. It will be both interesting and exciting, building up to an incredible climax (and that doesn't mean Boles fapping off in front of everyone...).

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by John Vasco

You wanna play blues, shit for brains? You start it, and I'll finish you off.

Blues it is then Chimpy. Any particular style old chap?
Oh' boy you have let yourself in for it now..
I hope you know a good pallbearer that's all I've got to say.

[Boleskinehouse]

I might just bring the R9... Banjocasters and other Les Pauls alike will be cowering in fear.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by John Vasco

Ya big girl's blouse, calling your guitar 'Happy Humphrey'. What a tosser! You don't impress me with your dixyphlidian theory shite!

And what's wrong with calling my guitar 'Happy Humphrey'?
At least it's got some character to it ( As you'll find out ).

Not just a mundane two tone brown abomination which is back to front anyway.
Gonna rely on that clinical Messy Booger to try and get you some tone then?
I'll tell you what. We'll go head to head..No gain..No channel switching. No pedals. Pure amp tone and let's see what our fingers can do..Well I know what yours will do anyway..Get tied in a bloody knot. You can't play the guitar properly with little stubby fingers like yours. Christ!..They look like half a pound of limp sausages dangling from your wrist. They remind me of a pair of inflated rubber utility gloves.

Silly man..

[BrianGT]

Hey guys! There's a fight round the back of the bike shed!

Two old tossers having a go!

Bring some cod liver oil....those old bones must be brittle!

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by BrianGT

Hey guys! There's a fight round the back of the bike shed!

Two old tossers having a go!

Bring some cod liver oil....those old bones must be brittle!

Shut up Jock and go and udjust your skirt.

[GeeJay]

One fine day, in the middle of the night;
two dead men arose to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other!!

[BrianGT]

Shut up Jock and go and udjust your skirt.

Twat!

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by BrianGT

Twat!

.................

[Drudeboy]

I'm definitely bringing my Tele, just to piss JV off

[John Vasco]

Originally Posted by Phil47uk

And what's wrong with calling my guitar 'Happy Humphrey'?
At least it's got some character to it ( As you'll find out ).

Not just a mundane two tone brown abomination which is back to front anyway.
Gonna rely on that clinical Messy Booger to try and get you some tone then?
I'll tell you what. We'll go head to head..No gain..No channel switching. No pedals. Pure amp tone and let's see what our fingers can do..Well I know what yours will do anyway..Get tied in a bloody knot. You can't play the guitar properly with little stubby fingers like yours. Christ!..They look like half a pound of limp sausages dangling from your wrist. They remind me of a pair of inflated rubber utility gloves.

Silly man..

I'll tell you what's wrong with calling your guitar feckin' Humphrey. Only tarts do that. And silly twats.

And you've started imposing conditions already. Fuck off! Running scared, eh, ya cockney cock sparrer. You should take whatever comes at you, then retire to a neutral corner and cry for your mummy. Cos the Torquemada burst is coming to get you!!! Oh yes!

You'll know all about rubber gloves, chained to the kitchen sink as you are. Peeling vegetables he was, the last time I phoned him. Whatever else you do with the rubber gloves, keep them away from Boles!

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by Drudeboy

I'm definitely bringing my Tele, just to piss JV off

Great Drude and I'll bring a Strat to piss him off even more.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by John Vasco

I'll tell you what's wrong with calling your guitar feckin' Humphrey. Only tarts do that. And silly twats.

And you've started imposing conditions already. Fuck off! Running scared, eh, ya cockney cock sparrer. You should take whatever comes at you, then retire to a neutral corner and cry for your mummy. Cos the Torquemada burst is coming to get you!!! Oh yes!

You'll know all about rubber gloves, chained to the kitchen sink as you are. Peeling vegetables he was, the last time I phoned him. Whatever else you do with the rubber gloves, keep them away from Boles!

The combination that will stop you dead in your tracks if you are talking blues you old goat.

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by John Vasco

I'll tell you what's wrong with calling your guitar feckin' Humphrey. Only tarts do that. And silly twats.

And you've started imposing conditions already. Fuck off! Running scared, eh, ya cockney cock sparrer. You should take whatever comes at you, then retire to a neutral corner and cry for your mummy. Cos the Torquemada burst is coming to get you!!! Oh yes!

You'll know all about rubber gloves, chained to the kitchen sink as you are. Peeling vegetables he was, the last time I phoned him. Whatever else you do with the rubber gloves, keep them away from Boles!

So only tarts and twats call their guitars names eh?. You seem to have shot yourself in the arse in two sentences in your own post old chap.

[John Vasco]

See the Torquemada Burst and shit thyself...

[Phil47uk]

Originally Posted by John Vasco

You'll know all about rubber gloves, chained to the kitchen sink as you are. Peeling vegetables he was, the last time I phoned him. Whatever else you do with the rubber gloves, keep them away from Boles!

Lucky I'm not catering for your tastes in food then. I'd be peeling fucking potatoes all day.