The Confrontation of Miguel The Theif

[Engel]

Originally Posted by a Mad Cow

He didn't seem very sorry at all. Does not seem like the type that will reform quickly.

I doubt he'll last long with these rules. Personally I would have walked out of the room 5-7 minutes in and probably never of returned. I was expecting him to take it much more like an adult.

It's hard to judge but since you made it public (your choice) I think they're both a bit shady. I'm not sure if I understood or not correctly, but I hope she told you about this "visit" with some guy PRIOR to the visit, not afterward. If not it makes you wonder.

Either way I still stand behind it was a mistake to post all of this. This thread will be one of the first things that come up for the kid on Google for the rest of his life.

Also, I do agree posting any and all of this directly violated forum rules and it's a shame the mods let it go on this long.

just remember... grain of sand.

[dudu]

Wolfe, man, I don't think this belongs here. It's just too... personal. You have my utmost
sympathy, though. It looks like this kid's development is a party you arrived too late to.

[HenryHill]

Originally Posted by a Mad Cow

He didn't seem very sorry at all. Does not seem like the type that will reform quickly.

I doubt he'll last long with these rules. Personally I would have walked out of the room 5-7 minutes in and probably never of returned. I was expecting him to take it much more like an adult.

It's hard to judge but since you made it public (your choice) I think they're both a bit shady. I'm not sure if I understood or not correctly, but I hope she told you about this "visit" with some guy PRIOR to the visit, not afterward. If not it makes you wonder.

Either way I still stand behind it was a mistake to post all of this. This thread will be one of the first things that come up for the kid on Google for the rest of his life.

Also, I do agree posting any and all of this directly violated forum rules and it's a shame the mods let it go on this long.

Oblivious to Douche labels.

Thanks for your input, A Mad Narcissist.

[HenryHill]

Originally Posted by lespaul01

I think you are an attention seeker and quite frankly a dick for doing what you did. keep your shite in your family.. That is, if you really care about them


/

THIS SUCKS>

I've always thought of you in poor terms, but you are a thoroughly built douche, in the for every grain of sand douche; composition douche bill of materials.

And I mean that with all my heart.

[Eric Smith]

Originally Posted by lespaul01

I think you are an attention seeker and quite frankly a dick for doing what you did. keep your shite in your family.. That is, if you really care about them


/

THIS SUCKS>

Notice the difference in class, yet they say the same thing.

Originally Posted by dudu

Wolfe, man, I don't think this belongs here. It's just too... personal. You have my utmost
sympathy, though. It looks like this kid's development is a party you arrived too late to.

[Joeydego]

dont really see why the bashing of the op is necessary.

[GNR4EVR]

All I can say, is all this babble from this kid is to put out the current fire at hand and maybe he wont try to pay you back by cleaning you out on his way out the door. Incidentally, if he doesnt learn soon, Im certain thats coming. Id keep a close close eye on things, Wolf. I know youd love to believe him, but when trust is destroyed, its really hard to get it back, he'll learn that soon enough and cleaning you out may be inevitable. Sorry for all your stress, Ive had my share. I can relate.

[LPJR]

The biological mother?

[Thumpalumpacus]

Originally Posted by LPJR

The biological mother?

That has been explained upthread.

[Cruznolfart]

Originally Posted by WolfeMacleod

I believe that's the only Benavente guitar I've ever done pickups for. Did we go to a concert together at a brewery place? I remember doing that with someone who came from quite a ways away to pick up a set.
I'll bet I do remember....vaguely....

No, I never got up your way; you sent them to Grants Pass. We spoke several times during and after the build.

[LPJR]

Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus

That has been explained upthread.

The post # by chance? Thnx in advance

[orbm1]

Originally Posted by LPJR

The post # by chance? Thnx in advance

read both threads, like we all did...

[james beam]

[HenryHill]

Originally Posted by Engel

It's a shitty boat all the way around but if your kid is on hard drugs you've pretty much failed as a parent anyways.

Kid smokes weed. He's 18. Most 18 year olds do.

IMHO, the kid's mom and dad are genetically predisposed to irresponsibility, and the Grandparents were over taxed to try to make up for that genetic predisposition to loser achievement.

In many ways, I cannot fault the kid for the result of what was bound to happen, but Miguel certainly hasn't risen above his adversity, either.

IOW, he had no parents, and the grandparents did what grandparents do; i.e., spoil their grandchildren. How can anyone fault them for that?

This was a fiasco that was bound to happen. It's sad, but in retrospect, it was fairly predictable.

Wolfe, dude I feel for ya, but there is a learning/teachable moment for all involved, yet somehow, I feel only YOU have the potential to gain anything from this. You, and Thump's boy.

Very sorry it came out like this, but comments on your performance are meant to help you, not diss you, the couple of douches not withstanding.

ETA: It was honorable for you to try to take on this challenge, but the magnitude of difficulty and potential for change were at the opposite extremes of values.

[Hyper]

Incidentally, I have a friend that is going through something similar with her son. It started off with pot, stealing change etc.. and quickly escalated to other drugs and stealing money from moms purse and dads wallet. After a series of "tough love" style interventions, they booted him out. Feeling guilty, they brought him back but kept their wallet/purse under lock and key. How did he repay them for caring enough about him to not have him be homeless? Lets just say that the last time I communicated with them, they were going around to all the pawn shops in their area to buy THEIR belongings back!!

Sounds like Miguel is well on his way!!

[Byron999]

That stuff about hurting you if you involve the cops would wiegh a bit on my mind. Not for legal reasons, but the fact this 'kid' does not really bond with you. There is this vindictive attitude, "if I go down, we all go down".
I can not fathom what that may be for you, but serioulsy weigh the risk this young man may pose to you.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Originally Posted by lpjr

the post # by chance? Thnx in advance

177.

[captain tightpants]

Originally Posted by Joeydego

I think he's the only child and from what I gather, neither of their biological kid. However, once someone's stepped into a roll of parent, that's for real and a big responsibility not to be taken lightly. Drinking buddies and friends can get cut off one day to the next. Family, not so much. That's my world, anyway.

I didn't say cut off, i said out the door. I don't appreciate the insinuation that you are somehow a better parent than I am and if you are going to insinuate that, make damned sure of what i said before you respond.

As a parent of three, I don't think I need you to lecture me on the responsibilities of being a parent. As a parent of three, I have other children to think about as well. Thank God my kids are pretty damned good kids, but what I said stands. It would still stand if I had only one.

No way in hell would that level of trouble be allowed to stand. If that meant I drove his ass to the recruiter myself that's what I would do.

Never said the child would be abandoned, but they sure as hell would be removed from my home and the free ride.

[Joeydego]

Originally Posted by captain tightpants

I didn't say cut off, i said out the door. I don't appreciate the insinuation that you are somehow a better parent than I am and if you are going to insinuate that, make damned sure of what i said before you respond.

As a parent of three, I don't think I need you to lecture me on the responsibilities of being a parent. As a parent of three, I have other children to think about as well. Thank God my kids are pretty damned good kids, but what I said stands. It would still stand if I had only one.

No way in hell would that level of trouble be allowed to stand. If that meant I drove his ass to the recruiter myself that's what I would do.

Never said the child would be abandoned, but they sure as hell would be removed from my home and the free ride.

relax. I can only comment on my viewpoint and my position on the matter, neither your way or my way are the RIGHT way, they are OUR way. Given that, we had a forum member recently that IIRC completely cut his daughter out. She was mental and physically endangering other children and making threats. THAT isn't what is happening here by a long shot. So far, we have a grand total 90 dollar theft and some reefer. Now, if YOU can live with throwing a kid out ofter swiping some cash and being a general lazy ass lying 18 year old, do you. I wont judge you. However, to get the boot around here, you need to do a little more than that. Im not sending a kid to war over 90 bucks taken off the table. We take care of our own thru thick and thin. Even thru thick and REAL thin. I am all behind the tongue lashing, drug testing, walking on shards of glass and cleaning every dish in the house for his indiscretions. IF IT WERE ME, and its not, I would give him a chance to make it right. Whatever Wolfe chooses in this instance is fine, because its NOT ME. If it were you, whatever YOU choose will be fine, too, because its YOU. Not sure where/how I insinuated I'm a better parent. Cool? Cool.

[captain tightpants]

Originally Posted by Joeydego

relax. I can only comment on my viewpoint and my position on the matter, neither your way or my way are the RIGHT way, they are OUR way. Given that, we had a forum member recently that IIRC completely cut his daughter out. She was mental and physically endangering other children and making threats. THAT isn't what is happening here by a long shot. So far, we have a grand total 90 dollar theft and some reefer. Now, if YOU can live with throwing a kid out ofter swiping some cash and being a general lazy ass lying 18 year old, do you. I wont judge you. However, to get the boot around here, you need to do a little more than that. Im not sending a kid to war over 90 bucks taken off the table. We take care of our own thru thick and thin. Even thru thick and REAL thin. I am all behind the tongue lashing, drug testing, walking on shards of glass and cleaning every dish in the house for his indiscretions. IF IT WERE ME, and its not, I would give him a chance to make it right. Whatever Wolfe chooses in this instance is fine, because its NOT ME. If it were you, whatever YOU choose will be fine, too, because its YOU. Not sure where/how I insinuated I'm a better parent. Cool? Cool.

Having "a little reefer" in the house can get your kids taken away genius, at least in this county, so yeah that'd be a pretty big deal around here.

And unless I read it wrong I'm gathering the $90 is the tip of the iceberg of a problem that's been going on for quite a while. Might I suggest reading a little more thoroughly. Cool? Cool.

[Joeydego]

Originally Posted by captain tightpants

Having "a little reefer" in the house can get your kids taken away genius, at least in this county, so yeah that'd be a pretty big deal around here.

And unless I read it wrong I'm gathering the $90 is the tip of the iceberg of a problem that's been going on for quite a while. Might I suggest reading a little more thoroughly. Cool? Cool.

Now WHO'S getting snippy?
I'm no genius, but I'm pretty fkkn smart. Smart enough to know plenty of 18 year old kids and adults are smoking pot and that doesn't make them the devil. Do I advocate it? Of course not. Its pretty clear I don't and can't smoke pot or do any other drugs, but I don't look down my nose at people who smoke a little pot. Apparently the GF smokes pot and its been well known to both Wolfe and Her he is smoking pot as well. Its clear this is a 420 friendly household. Wolfe, correct me if I'm wrong here and if I am I apologize. I don't WANT my kids smoking pot but if they did, it wouldn't warrant a boot out the door nor shipped off to Afghanistan to die for it. Actually, if they were getting good grades, holding down a job and generally staying out of trouble and being outstanding kids, they'd get a talk about it. Now if they were stealing and being like this kid here is, thats it. They go on LOCKDOWN. But the boot? Out the door? To end up dead in a stairwell over in the South Bronx? Naaaah. My kids, my responsibility. Until I FAIL. THEN we BOTH fail TOGETHER, as a family.

[Led Zep Fan]

Kid?!? I thought he was 20?

[Thumpalumpacus]

Originally Posted by Led Zep Fan

Kid?!? I thought he was 20?

He's 18.

I don't get the continued insinuation that Wolf owes the lad anything. Wolf has put him up for three years, and has tried to steer the boy right.

If it was Wolf's own son, raised by him, that would be one thing, but I don't see that he is obligated to become a victim out of sympathy (misplaced, in my view) for a guy who is old enough to know that stealing is wrong , and ought to know better than to shit in the mess kit he'll be eating with.

[captain tightpants]

Originally Posted by Joeydego

Now WHO'S getting snippy?
I'm no genius, but I'm pretty fkkn smart. Smart enough to know plenty of 18 year old kids and adults are smoking pot and that doesn't make them the devil. Do I advocate it? Of course not. Its pretty clear I don't and can't smoke pot or do any other drugs, but I don't look down my nose at people who smoke a little pot. Apparently the GF smokes pot and its been well known to both Wolfe and Her he is smoking pot as well. Its clear this is a 420 friendly household. Wolfe, correct me if I'm wrong here and if I am I apologize. I don't WANT my kids smoking pot but if they did, it wouldn't warrant a boot out the door nor shipped off to Afghanistan to die for it. Actually, if they were getting good grades, holding down a job and generally staying out of trouble and being outstanding kids, they'd get a talk about it. Now if they were stealing and being like this kid here is, thats it. They go on LOCKDOWN. But the boot? Out the door? To end up dead in a stairwell over in the South Bronx? Naaaah. My kids, my responsibility. Until I FAIL. THEN we BOTH fail TOGETHER, as a family.

You are picking and choosing your details to bolster your ridiculous argument. The ''kid'' (he's actually 18, I believe Vic) has apparently been at this for some time. They are apparently down to the last straw. Try to keep up.

And what's with the "Shipped off to Afghanistan to die for it" drama-queen horseshit? Is it a New York thing to be that dramatic?

Get a grip.

[tazzboy]

Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus

He's 18.

I don't get the continued insinuation that Wolf owes the lad anything. Wolf has put him up for three years, and has tried to steer the boy right.

If it was Wolf's own son, raised by him, that would be one thing, but I don't see that he is obligated to become a victim out of sympathy (misplaced, in my view) for a guy who is old enough to know that stealing is wrong , and ought to know better than to shit in the mess kit he'll be eating with.

Agree this isn't Wolf own son it his girlfriend's 18 year old nephew. Wolf open his home and too both and this is how the girlfriends nephew treats him by stealing for 3 years? I don't think so.

[Joeydego]

Originally Posted by captain tightpants

You are picking and choosing your details to bolster your ridiculous argument. The ''kid'' (he's actually 18, I believe Vic) has apparently been at this for some time. They are apparently down to the last straw. Try to keep up.

And what's with the "Shipped off to Afghanistan to die for it" drama-queen horseshit? Is it a New York thing to be that dramatic?

Get a grip.

We aren't klingons. It is NEVER a good day to die in this house. I personally couldn't live with myself if I sent my kid off to the army during a time of war because he was half a fkkup and got hurt or died. I've kept up pretty well, I DO NOT share your parenting approach, and guess what? THATS JUST FINE! You raise your kids, I'll raise mine. Wolfe will do what he thinks is right. At the end of the day, we all do what we can live with and the best we can. If your kids ever do end up in military service, I wish them a safe tour. I don't want mine there. Id go before them if it came down to it. Im me and you're you and WE'RE DIFFERENT.

[Joeydego]

Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus

He's 18.

I don't get the continued insinuation that Wolf owes the lad anything. Wolf has put him up for three years, and has tried to steer the boy right.

If it was Wolf's own son, raised by him, that would be one thing, but I don't see that he is obligated to become a victim out of sympathy (misplaced, in my view) for a guy who is old enough to know that stealing is wrong , and ought to know better than to shit in the mess kit he'll be eating with.

Thump, I'd have a hard time throwing an 18 year old VISITOR out of my house with nowhere to go. That's just me, maybe.

[lespaul01]

Originally Posted by WolfeMacleod

Hey, thanks for that. I never intended for the original post to blow up like it did.
If there's one thing I don't particularly seek, it's attention. I've always been one to lay pretty low.
Birds of a feather stick together or something?

So... are you trying to redirect and deflect the "trial" at me, instead of him? Are you excusing his actions?

Not at all man. I just feel he is a kid,, His skull ainl't hardened. People change man. We all aren't always kids. FFS. Keep your shite personal. Sell yourself out.

[tazzboy]

Well Joey what would you have done had he stole money from you and your business?

[lespaul01]

Originally Posted by Joeydego

Quite an attention seeking post

blow me.