How do you show your SO that they make you happy?

[WolfeMacleod]

Serious question here, folks.

In the last nine weeks, I found out that my wife has had an affair. She told me, but only after originally saying he tried to kis her... It was short lived, and I know he manipulated her into it. He used alcohol, making her feel like she had to in order to keep his friendship, etc. I'm the only person ever to pay attention to her in that manner, and all the sudden here's another guy laying on the charm.
We'd been having some problem anyways, unknown to me. She felt abandoned because of my work...her work...put the two together, and a huge hole between us was made.
She's convinced she's in love with him. Although he wants nothing to do with her. never did, except sex. She didn't do it, but did other stuff...when she refused for the third time, he turned to ice towards her. "it is what it is" he said to her...

We just "celebrated" our 10th anniversary together. Our 5th wedding anniversary is on Halloween if we can make it that long.

She hasn't been wearing her wedding rings for about a month....

She wants me to find soemone else. Not because she wants to go to him (cause she realises - sort of - that he's a pig) but because she's convinced she does not make me happy. Sure, over the last nine week, maybe not...but only because I'm unsure about my future with her. And believe me, I want there to be in spite of what happened. I know she was manipulated. He's a car salesman, and does this for sport with married women. She has low self-esteem, diagnosed depressed, and feels she is very ugly..... an easy target for him

Over the last ten years, she's made me very happy. Nine weeks is nothing compared to ten years. I've told her how happy she makes me, but she doesn't get it. I wounld't have married her if she didn't make me happy.
I've tried to show her all along with the "small stuff" - doing he housework, running errands when she can't, being there for her as often as I could.....and being there for her during her heartbreak. Starting my business for her, driving myself so hard because of her inspiration, letting her know she's beautiful, stuff like that.

We've been going to marriage counselling for about a month now....trying to sort out our problems and differences, and find common ground.

How do you show your significant other that they truely, truely make you happy?
Cause she needs to know. Before it's too late.


There is one good point to all this. It's opened up the lines of communication between her and I. She has always been closed off in that regard. We're actually communicating now. And I'm willign to see this through, no matter how long it takes or how much it hurts, because I know that what we could have in the end could be so much better than anything we had before...if she can find a way to un-love him and truely realise he's a pig who manipulated her.

[Nicole Rose]

that is the second toughest question i've ever heard. and to be honest, the only thing i can think of that has a fair chance of working is to show her you want to spend time with her. and to spend time with her. not necessarily doing a lot, but doing more than just watching tv. walks, car rides, talking on the deck.

my partner and i spend time sitting under the apple tree every summer. away from the tv away from the phone. and she knows i am happy with her because i look forward to spending that time with her. talking about nothing or everything. just sharing moments together. sometimes i have to bug her to get her out there away from the couch and tv but i tell her, come on hon, you know i love our little chats outside. she usually gives in.

good luck.

[NeoConMan]

Wow.
I got nothing to make you feel warm and fuzzy.

The car salesman is a piece of shit if you have him pegged.
I played the same games as a young cocksman, coercing vulnerable women to get naked...

What does the counseling bring out?
My guess is, she's so riddled with guilt she'll never be able to put it to rest with you.
She will always regret not only doing it, but not just keeping it a secret to protect you.

Whether she says it or not, she likely hopes and prays for a new start with a new man so she can redeem herself and not feel like such a loser. If she could control a new relationship, she likely feels she would do it right this time.

It's all an illusion because she hasn't changed what caused it - vulnerability and low self esteem.

The logical thing is to protect yourself and unload her.
Problem is, logic fits NOWHERE in this or any other relationship.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing, and having been divorced more than once I wish you luck.

Just don't let her use you until you're toast, recovery takes years...

[WolfeMacleod]

Originally Posted by NeoConMan

Wow.


What does the counseling bring out?
My guess is, she's so riddled with guilt she'll never be able to put it to rest with you.
She will always regret not only doing it, but not just keeping it a secret to protect you.

Whether she says it or not, she likely hopes and prays for a new start with a new man so she can redeem herself and not feel like such a loser..

While she says she's sorry that she hurt me, she's not sorry for what she did. It was, apaprently, over anyways. She has no guilt, at least at this point in time. Believe it or not, her actual regret is not sleeping with him...because then she'd know what else is out there, and our question about her allergy to me would be answered.

Counseling is not brigning out a whole lot on her part. Yet.

[v8ko]

Wow. Man I feel for you and hope everything works itself out.

All to often in marriages that 5-10 year mark can be a struggle. What you may assume is tender loving care may in fact be completely different than what she thinks.

Ive had relationships where the woman literally assumes Im a mind reader and theres no getting past that imo. Perhaps years of therapy. Maybe she wants the relationship to break out of a rut...mix things up. Do something adventurous, horse back riding, hiking...maybe a spontaneous weekend getaway somewhere.

I honestly believe PRIDE is the number one killer of marriages. Somehow you both have to show that WINNING an argument for arguments sake is silly. Its ok to disagree and have different feelings about issues but Ive seen screaming matches over the correct way to put TP on the roll.

Never try and push your issue when the other is not willing to listen and work out a problem. Im a firm believer in waiting a day or two when cooler heads can prevail. In your everyday loving relationship you both must be convinced that during hard times ie. financial or otherwise that you both still love each other and its ok to disagree...but you have to find answers together.

Im sure weve all seen simular situations and the best thing I can tell you (especially if kids are not involved) is to be honest with yourself. How many times can you endure this type of pain? How far are you willing to change yourself to fit this relationship? Are you willing to acknowledge and then forgive that this may not be the only affair shes had?....its something that might pop up in your head the next time shes late and wont answer her phone....

Good luck man. Best wishes for you.

[Nugget]

You should get away for a while.When did you and your wife last take a vacation? I'm talking about a proper break that doesn't involve guitars.
You might want to kick the living shit out of the bastard that started all this too.

[fretwire]

Sorry to here this Wolfe. I think counselling is a good first step. As with any stumble in life, there is denial, then anger, ... you know the steps. The 7 year itch is no different. We have some control in life, but not total control. If it is meant to be, it will be. "Things always have a way of working themselves out." The phrase I live my life by.

[NeoConMan]

Originally Posted by WolfeMacleod

she's not sorry for what she did
She has no guilt
her actual regret is not sleeping with him
she'd know what else is out there
our question about her allergy to me would be answered.
Counseling is not brigning out a whole lot on her part.

I rearranged some of that to look like a list.
Look at it that way for a reality check.

Not good, man.
Not good at all.

Let me say this and get it out of the way;
I went thru a divorce with a baby involved after we had been together ten years.
Yep, all those years, THEN we had a baby and found there was no way in hell it would work.

Got married again after I felt I answered all the questions I could about ME.
Four years, two more kids and a whole lot of money later I got destroyed.
She's a paralegal, bad for me.
Divorce war lasted over two years, I lost everything.
She even tried to sink me with the IRS, at least THAT backfired on her...

I tell people now (I'm happily married to a wonderful Christian woman with morals) that I'm not the person for marriage advice. Now, if you want divorce advice I can help you!!!

Others may disagree, but from where I'm standing it looks like she's already made a couple of attempts to clean you out and field dress you like a trophy buck.
After gauging what you will allow her to do to you emotionally, she may be more sure of herself and really set out to do you in.
All the while, she'll be milking your sympathy because you obviously love her.
You need to be prepared to find out it really is that bad, and preserve your own sanity.
She's damned sure not helping matters any....

Trust me on this, if it goes as I fear, you will hate her like you could never imagine.

Hope I'm all wrong.

[b-squared]

Dude, I so sorry to hear this news. Like several others here, I've gone through a similar thing.

I noticed that in your post you never did say that you still loved her. Do you? Does she still love you? The sex is a trivial matter; people have sex with others for several reasons, almost never is it because of love.

Love goes beyond the physical relationship; is it still there? The fire may have dwindled down to a spark, but never the less--you have to answer the question...is it still burning?

If the answer is no, then you're going to have to take action. If the answer is yes, then you need to fan the flames, get some fresh wood on (excuse the pun), and get the fire going again.

I highly recommend the book "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman. Here's his website: The Five Love Languages.

Read the premise of the book...it worked for me. What I discovered is that for 20 years what I thought made my wife feel loved didn't, and vice versa. As a result we drifted apart, and went outside the marriage to find what did. We've been back together for 2 years (after a 2-year separation), and things are going well.

Check out the book, and the website. He is a Christian family counselor; even if you're not a church goer please check it out...his ideas really do work.

Keep your friends close, Wolfe--you need a support system now. Don't make any big business decisions for awhile, don't keep any firearms in the house, should you own any. Let a friend hold them for a few weeks, ok?

Check out the website. It will help.

Cheers, bro!

BB

[GuitarDean]

It's time to head off to consoling and, if indeed you truly want to make it work, scale back activities (INCLUDING WORK) that keep you apart, start doing things together and open up the lines of communication, regardless of how painful the situation is. If both parties do that, it will stay glued, if not, them one of the couple didn't want to see it work. Oh and one more thing, DONT KEEP REMINDING HER AND HOLDING OVER HER HEAD THAT YOU HAVENT FORGOTTEN ABOUT OR FORGIVEN HER FOR THE AFFAIR... NOTHING will kill the marriage faster.

[Bluesjam]

Ask yourselve this question. If you won the lotto and the both of you divided the money would you stay with her and would she stay with you. I've been married 30 years, heck I can't remember the 10 year mark. I do remember that we had some problems and worked our way thru those. Life is a long time, and time can heal most everything if given a chance, but here has to be hope and a desire to be with eachother. Don't be so directed to find the fault in your mate, look at yourselve, it will make you a better person for whatever comes next.

[83135]

Ouch, that is a tough one.

Take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself: "Does she REALLY make me HAPPY, or am I just trying to make the best out of this mess?"

Obviously, she has a few emotional problems, and sometimes you have to face the fact that you will be better off alone or with someone else. You CANNOT make someone love you.

Do you want to feel like this for the rest of your life?

NeoConMan makes a good point. With all due respect, from an outside point of view, you look like a fool who doesn't know when to get out with diginity.
I hope I am wrong as well.

[1959burst]

once they sleep with someone else it's over,it never washes clean after that..........................at least in my life.

[jomo]

Originally Posted by WolfeMacleod

While she says she's sorry that she hurt me, she's not sorry for what she did. It was, apaprently, over anyways. She has no guilt, at least at this point in time. Believe it or not, her actual regret is not sleeping with him...because then she'd know what else is out there, and our question about her allergy to me would be answered.

Counseling is not brigning out a whole lot on her part. Yet.

Bro, I don't know you but I've been there (sorta). I feel from what you've said (I mean no harm here, as I'm speaking from experience) that you are co-dependent, and anything me or anyone else says is going to sway your thinking. I honestly don't see you guys ever being happy together, unless "maybe" after a long separation. She has to realize what she had, and you need to be happy by your self before you can be happy with her. If leaving her is out of the question, you need to act like it's not (if that makes sense) I think if you play Mr. cool guy and kind of just have that "what ever" attitude, she "may" feed off of that and break. Women with low self esteem seem to be attracted to the bad boy, not the "oh honey, I love you so much" guy. What I mean by all that is you need to play hard to get "back", very hard, you can't make someone love you, you can only hope they do on their own. Good luck brother.

wOLFE, i REALLY FEEL BAD FOR YOU. I am truly sorry for what you are going through. Beleive me when I say I know how the PU business can ruin your marriage, been there and done that, divorce #2 almost final. You are in a hard spot for sure,trying to make a living aty what you do but what you do takes so much of your time theres no time for much else,

I tried this with my second wife when we had troubles and it actually helped but for us it was too late. Go on a date, 1 time a week SEEMED TO LIVEN THINGS UP SOME, SORRY CAPS LOCK IS MESSED UP ON MY PUTER.

hEY MAN I AM HERE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT ALL, YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE MY NUMBER IF YOU WANT TO TALK. bENNY

[coldsteal2]

I have no advice, if i did i would still be
married

[Blues Power]

shit that sucks. obviously you still care, but im not saying she doesnt either though.

the sex or attractions wear off in time. its whats in the heart that keep couples together.

back in my single days i did it all, strippers, street walkers, bar flies, freinds sisters you name it if it walked and was fairly cute i tried for it. I had a high for a few weeks while it lasted but thats all it was, a high and nothing more

it was kinda like buying that $3000 guitar or amp and have that high feeling for a while then it passes and youre looking for something else to play

when i met my wife the sex was secondary to what was inside of us. shes actually made me wait about 4 months b4 she did anything worthwhile. that kept me intrested and intrigued. I felt safe as that if i coulnd get in noone else would either

i know this is not answering for what you need to hear but maybe you can pull something out of it all.

good luck and stay strong

[Adwex]

I've never been married, but I've lost a handful of girlfriends, and here's what I've learned.....

Once they decide it's over............it's over. I cannot fix it. I can either mope around the house in my sweats for a week and agonize over the loss, or not, but one of the toughest things for me was to just let her go.

The sadness and emotional pain was unbearable, but the relationship was OVER, regardless. There is no reward in the end for enduring the pain.

[SFK]

Originally Posted by jomo

Bro, I don't know you but I've been there (sorta). I feel from what you've said (I mean no harm here, as I'm speaking from experience) that you are co-dependent, and anything me or anyone else says is going to sway your thinking. I honestly don't see you guys ever being happy together, unless "maybe" after a long separation. She has to realize what she had, and you need to be happy by your self before you can be happy with her. If leaving her is out of the question, you need to act like it's not (if that makes sense) I think if you play Mr. cool guy and kind of just have that "what ever" attitude, she "may" feed off of that and break. Women with low self esteem seem to be attracted to the bad boy, not the "oh honey, I love you so much" guy. What I mean by all that is you need to play hard to get "back", very hard, you can't make someone love you, you can only hope they do on their own. Good luck brother.

That has been my experience as well.

Good luck bro.

[Big John]

Close the shop down for a week or two and get the hell out of town. You need to deflate.

[Hemply]

Wow Wolf-man some serious issues going on there my friend. It's hard to pin-point one specific issue. Depression in itself is a real MotherF'er! Combine that with low-self esteem in one self and there is a receipe for a very dangerous cocktail as you have found out.

First of all do NOT blame yourself, there's nothing you can do about that. That is an issue she must deal with on her own and hopefully with the therapy you are both dealing with right now she will come to that realization. It is very admirable of you to be there and support her through this, you love your wife so why wouldn't you be there for her no matter what? Therapy can be a wonderful thing but it's only as good as the therapist, I know, I'm a therapist.

Unfortunately, we can't force anyone to change unless they want to change. A good therapist will recognise the signs of low self-esteem and for godsake depression is Psych 101 for even a bad therapist. These issues need to be dealt with separately from your marital issues but with your continued support for her full recovery because that's *your* job as her husband and friend, hopefully she will see this once the fog lifts. Keep supporting her, keep making her feel better about herself, build up that self-esteem problem with positive reinforcement. Show her that she is important not just to you but to herself. Yeah it's a big load to carry but with true love nothing is impossible.

I myself have been going through something similar and have been going back and forth with myself about whether I wanted to put it out there. I already know the answer to my issues... but like depression, love can also be a MotherF'er!

If I were you and didn't see any real progression within the theraputic process then there is nothing wrong with looking for another therapist. I've had plenty of patients in the past that I just couldn't help no matter what I tried. Sometimes even *we* have trouble reaching someone, that's why a good therapist will refer to another therapist because it is the patients success that ALWAYS comes first!

Good luck and keep me posted if I can help in any way I'd be happy to.
Oh and thanks for giving me the courage to talk about my own ongoing issues. Hopefully I'll see you in my post when I get it up in a bit!

Sometimes even a therapist needs a therapist!

[Robespierre]

O.k. man, I don't know you (so maybe it will make it easier for what I'm gonna say), but I think she's feeding you a line of crap.

-He manipulated her. -She told you as soon as it started. -She wants you to find someone else, because she doesn't make you happy.

This all stinks to high heaven.

And you said she's got low self-esteem and she's depressed? Why do even want to be with her? Are you gonna "save" her?

There are A LOT of better women out there that can make you ten times happier. Really! And they won't put you through this shit. -You find that kind woman and you'll be a better man for it.

Good luck.

[inxs996]

Originally Posted by 1959burst

once they sleep with someone else it's over,it never washes clean after that..........................at least in my life.

Man, i feel sorry for you, i don't know you, so if your saying that you tried to all the right things and she did that to you, she would be out the door faster then you can say "cheater"...

No way someone can make you do something that you don't want to do, that meaning the car salesman, she was an adult and made a conscious decision to cheat on you, did you ever think that she might of contracted a fatal disease and gave it to you...

Look at McCain, he was brutalized for 5 years and never gave in, it was nothing more then a ego booster for her, at your expense...

The old saying goes "once a cheater, always a cheater", how could you sleep next to her, not knowing if she was with someone else that day...

Not for me man, if i can't trust you , i am done with you...

Good luck, take care of yourself, thats whos more important at this time...

P.S. I hope i didn't sound to mean, its just i hate to see people taken advantage of...

[BONEDADY1068]

Sorry to hear about your situation.
I have to agree 100% with NeoConMan...Cut the ties now.

I went through a horrible divorce with the same woman TWICE! (yes I know)

I come from a close family with a happily married mother & father. I believed in the big picture. Unfortunately, I'm becoming the minority in society. I think that because we're seeing 2nd & 3rd generations from broken homes, marriage has become a disposible "commitment". My ex came from a VERY broken home. She became her mother, even though she swore she never would. She left me & our 2 kids 3 TIMES!!!!! She has a problem...actually, several. In the end, I spent thousands on lawyers... all I had to do was give her the house & I would get the kids. That tells you everything!

When they start thinking that way, it's done. I'm sorry to tell you that, but cut your losses now. The one thing you don't want to lose is your sanity & your dignity. Life goes on & you will be fine.

[ZoomZilla]

Ok, first off you need to get her fixed first. My wife had battled depression for years, she is better now. During that time, no matter what I did or said, it meant nothing. When people are depressed, you cannot talk them out of it or do things to make them feel better. Does she have a psychiatrist? If she does, what meds does he have her on? You can PM me if you are not comfortable talking on here. Also, I would recommend a psychologist as well. A Psychiatrist can help people through medication, a Psychologist provides talk therapy. Sometimes a combination of both is needed. I can speak from my experience, though it may be different from you. Once she is better, then you can work on doing things that will make her happy. When she said that she wants you to find someone else because she wants you to be happy, that hit home with me. Do you know how many times I have heard that? Well I never gave up. I stuck with her until she got better. Keep in mind, while depression is not exactly an excuse and will probably not make you feel any better about what happened, realize that it is a medical condition and can explain a lot of her actions. The fact that you did not kick her to the curb tells me that you love her and want to keep her. So understand that if she were not depressed, the affair would never have happened. You can try to do nice things and work with her now, but do not get discouraged when you don't get positive results.

Let me know if I can offer you any more words of wisdom. I am by no means the smartest guy in the room, but I can speak from experience.

[Redbird]

Hey Wolfe
Tough question and I give you praise for even having the balls to ask it here. I am going to be brutally honest with you here. I know about the cheating game from experience. I hate to say it, but in what I read in your case, I think the old saying holds true

Once a cheater always a cheater

I wouldn't say this in all cases, but the fact that you said she had no guilt............man. That did it.

From my experience, there was guilt. LOTS of guilt.

We got over it, hopefully you can too, but the person has to accept the guilt and realize what was done and how devastating that is to the other person.

Hope this helps.

Good luck man.

[WolfeMacleod]

Originally Posted by 1959burst

once they sleep with someone else it's over,it never washes clean after that..........................at least in my life.

She didn't sleep with him because of her body-image issues. She's not a small girl. She copped to what did happen, and in my eyes it's worse...so why wound't she cope to sleeping with him if that were the case.

Originally Posted by Big John

Close the shop down for a week or two and get the hell out of town. You need to deflate.

We're planning on going to Disnayland for a week over Halloween for our 5th wedding anniversary. the only non work-related vacation/break/time alone we've ever had. If we can make it...

Originally Posted by Robespierre

O.k. man, I don't know you (so maybe it will make it easier for what I'm gonna say), but I think she's feeding you a line of crap.

-He manipulated her. -She told you as soon as it started. -She wants you to find someone else, because she doesn't make you happy.

This all stinks to high heaven.

And you said she's got low self-esteem and she's depressed? Why do even want to be with her? Are you gonna "save" her? .

A big part of why I've stayed with her so long is because I love a challenge. She' challenges me in ways that nobody else ever has. She inspires me to do my work, and to push myself so hard. I don't want to "save" her becasue if I did, she'd be different.. her issues are what make her her.

She didn't tell me as soon as it started. She told me a week after it ended. She also didn't tell me he manipulated her...I came to that conclusion on my own, because of what I know about her and his type of person.

Here's how it happened...

Keep in mind, she was planning on leaving anyways because of our drifting apart due to my time with work, my Dr. Vintage legal crap, etc...

The three of us were suppose to go to Ouray, Colordao for a week for a huge off-road gathering. We were supposed to share a room. I wound up not beign able to go because of work, but still wanted her to go and have fun...she'd never been able to get away and have fun like this. Because of her self-image issues and sexual hang-ups, I trusted her implicitly.
I also trusted him, as he came off as a great guy. Became her friend...she has an EXTREMELY difficult time makign friends, so I was happy she'd found someone she got along with.
They had a few dinner/meetings about the plans on getting there, trail runs they would do, stuff like that. After one of the meetings, he made a move on her. She bolted and more or less told him it coulnd't happen. At the next meeting, he got her wasted...she's an extreme lightweight, but feels obligated to drink/eat something if someone buys it for her.
During this time, he fed her every line she needed to hear. She say he didn't, but I know he did...I know his type. Although he never once complimented her or said anything nice about her, it was more like "Oh yeah, me too!" and "Love that too!" and giving her free shit from the dealership....and presto, lots in common, he likes her a lot, etc and soforth.
He made her feel like she had to in order to keep his friendship...and while wasted, she did something she won't do for me. She hates it...she'd never do it to someone else unless so drunk she didn't really know what was going on. While it happened, he said to her "I think you should just take off your pants so I can f*ck you right now" - she didn't.

This was one, maybe two weeks before the trip. She got attached to him because of the hole created between us due to our work, her feelings of being abandoned by me due to my work, etc. But she knew she'd get hurt by him - he told her he wanted only "Friends with benefits" And nothing else, ever. He was seeing someone else, as well as living with another girl.
She tried to get out of going to Ouray a few times because she knew what would happen. He prodded her into it (I've read the messages)

At Ouray, she did it once more....don't know why thought... When she woulnd't sleep with him, he turned to ice.
It ended there. He hated her now, and she knew it.

When she returned, she told me he'd made a move on her. I threatened to kill him if he ever touched my wife again...and I would have, believe me. I think about it every day, and have no problem with it.
But the whole story....that came out about two weeks later....

In the end, I'm a little glad it happened because it opened her shell a little bit. Enough for us to communicate finally. I never would have known there were problems with us otherwise...she was just going to leave...which is part of why it happened in the first place.


But...those are not why I posted this...

She's wanting me to find someone else because she feels she makes me unhappy. I need to find a way to let her see that she truely, truely does, in spite of what happened. I've told her, and tried to show her, but she fails to understand and see it.
I'm not looking for sympathy here...I'm looking for a way to open her eyes and show her how she's affected my life, and other peoples' lives through me (without her, there never would have been Wolfetone!)
I'm looking for a way to show her how important she is, how I appreciate all the things she's done for me. I'm looking for a way to show her that she deserves to be happy, instead of hurting all the time (I get the feeling anaother part of why it happened is BECAUSE she KNEW she's get hurt, and she wanted to hurt...)

That is the question. How?

[mrpesca]

I think you should listen to her. That is what shows that you care. She specifically told you to find someone else and as little sense as that makes right now, she is right. She knows that she is not good for you but you can't see that right now. Once you move on and get YOUR self esteem back, she may come crawling but frankly at that point you probably will have realized that she did you a favor. It may sound harsh but I speak from experience. Good luck Wolfe.
By the way. there are 3.5 billion other women out there and some of them are just waiting for someone like you.

[WolfeMacleod]

Originally Posted by ZoomZilla

Ok, first off you need to get her fixed first. .... Does she have a psychiatrist? If she does, what meds does he have her on? .... The fact that you did not kick her to the curb tells me that you love her and want to keep her. So understand that if she were not depressed, the affair would never have happened......

She doesn't want help with her depression. I don't understand why.
I do realize that it wounld't have happend if she were not depressed.

She's told me part of the reason she told me the whole story is because she wanted me to throw her out, and because she wanted me to beat the crap out of her over it. She's actually taken off her glasses a few times when i start getting pissed, and told me to...in order to help her release her own pain. I could not. She got mad at me one night when I could not.
She wants to suffer, and she doesn't want my forgiveness. Yet.
She's a "cutter"...although she hadn't done it for ovedr ten years, untill recently. That was always supposed to be my sign of her being unhappy, if she cut herself.

[WolfeMacleod]

Originally Posted by mrpesca

I think you should listen to her.

Whoawhoawhoa..and how are YOU doing?

Hope them DrV's are working well!
Rover got himself another job. The forum really helped pull him ourt of the fire!

Problem is, is that she IS good for me. I know it's hard to beleive.
Right now, maybe not so much so. But when things are going well (or normal), she really is good for me, because of the challenge she provides me. The inspiration she gives me.

If we can work through this, what we will have at the end will be so much better than anything before.

That's why I'm sticking it out till the end. No matter what.

After all, or Clan motto is "Hold Fast"