05-23-2009, 01:33 AM
Join Date: Oct 2008
Thanked 44 Times in 17 Posts
Re: Share your embarassing moments!
Originally Posted by Drudeboy
In my marginally wilder younger days something happened which, looking back, defines a peroid of my twenties. I call these the wilderness years. This has nothing to do with Jesus or spending time in a reflective environment. More so a period where I didn't know where the **** I was. Not in the soul searching way, more in the drunken stoned way.
One particular evening I was out on the lash and got chatting to a nice attrative young lady and we got on well and we ensued on a night of very heavy drinking, dancing and possibly a kebab. I say kebab as there was a chilli sauce stain on my shirt the next day but it is pure speculation.
The next thing I remember is slowly coming out of a fitful sleep and, scraping off the scales of Friday night, I opened my eyes. As things came into focus it became clear I was not at home. One, I had a single bed, two, my bed did not have a sleeping girl in it (usually)
Things slowly came into focus in my head, it was Saturday morning, I was in some girls bed, I felt like shit, and I was supposed to be at work at 7.30. I glanced around, the clock radio said 6.55.
I got dressed in a rush and managed to find out where I was from an equally poorly girl in the bed. I was about 30 mins from work. I called a taxi (cab) and bought a pint of milk for breakfast and got to work just on time, in last night’s going out clothes.
When I turned up it was quite obvious I had not yet made it home after Friday night and there was a lot of ribbing, like 'which tarts house did you end up in yer dirty stop out' etc etc etc.
After a while the ribbing died down. After an hour or so the fluids I had been downing to rehydrate my hung-over body require a visit to the toilet.
I stood at the urinal and whipped him out and let go. A few workmate were also there having a pee.
I felt a strange warm sensation around my todger. I looked down.
My cock was the size of a yellowy cucumber
My cock had a condom on, and it was by this point, full of about a pint of piss and swinging around uncontrollably.
This did not go unnoticed.
WHAT THE ****.........
I never ever ever will live that down; it is now part of Drude Folklore. Some people who have heard the story come up to me and ask me if it was true.
WOULD I MAKE ANYTHING SO EMBARRASSING UP????????
That is hilarious!